The Excentric Life Of Denhouse

The future is fraught with planning!

2009-12-29T12:05:00.002+13:00

The strange thing is, in the past two months I haven't really sorted out much more for my UK trip, which is coming ever so closer. Though, the other night I was texting Beffy and through that conversation I've figured out some things and have started grinding my ass into gear.

So this post isn't really a BLOG post as much, its more a, this is what I'm doing Emma and Beth, and please give me bad news or problems with it, so I can work new things out :)

As per usual, its all gonna be random, so don't think of things chronologically, even if somethings are that way written.

I've been planing to book my ticket around the middle of January time, so I beat any 'Oh, you've missed our super deal by 3days" bullshit. Emma has sent me some dates and I've sent a text off to my sister seeing when she's available and if she would like to come to the airport too. Though she's in Morrocco right now... And I think on her other phone >< I don't know. But she'll reply sooooooonish I think.
My plan is to come end of March, early April. (Which is funny, cause my original plan was to go to the UK June 2010, but then I changed it to November 2009/Jan2010/March2010 and now its maybe April. Might ACTUALLY end up there in June like originally planned! xD) So, anyway, end of March/Early April, meaning, 27March/3April. One of those two weekends. I'm thinking weekends cause then EVERYone can come and see the wondrousness that is me :D Although it could be a bit more expensive as its a 'weekend'? I dunno! I'll find out.

The plan is then to say "OMG HHHIIIII!!!" to everyone and be all embarrassed with Emma. Then.. I don't know. Head off with Beth and Dan to theirs? Or maybe hang out with Emma for a bit. Depends when my plan gets in and all that I know. Prob best to go with Beth and Dan first and meet up with Emma another time. (See, this is why I want your guy's input.)

Now because of the rules with renting and all that I can't stay very long with Beth and Dan (not that I really WAS going too anyway, but its put a slight leash on things) I'd stay with them... About a week, maybe two at the outside? And in that time, look for a place for myself to rent and also for some work :D *Technically* work is more important cause I can just leave all my stuff at Beth's and sneak in and steal their shower and then run away and live on the streets :P But anyway. I'm thinking I'll be looking for accommodation and work in the Swindon area because it will be easier, you know, with being there with Beth for a week xD. Even though from my research (1 house rent website thing) Swindon is more expensive than Reading. I'll have probably 3 months rent available to me on my arrival and HOPEfully can find full time work or even one off random part time jobs in that long. It took me about.... 2months looking for a job here in NZ but I was more lazy then and had less skills to offer. We'll see. Oh and I can..... Boast a bit more on my C.V. and some things without too much fear of them ultra checking :P

Obviously with aaallll my experience, I'm probably going to end up with something to do with mail, with I don't think would be too bad. I can run and operate a CMC 2500 machine and also looking at the Royal Mail website, they pay quite well and there is this weird training class thing you can do through them, which would be good to get some U.K. school achievements.
Thinking about that, I might maybe try for an apprenticeship type thing, but I know that here in NZ they're kinda hard to get into, but maybe thats really for the full on hardcore ones, I'll find out. OH! One bad thing bout the Royal Mail job is I was talking to my brother about how they were striking and everything which might mean for more availability of a job for me, but then he gave me some links showing that they were striking because of job cuts! :(

I'm thinking also about maybe applying for policing or navy jobs. Not army cause you're more likely to die there and Emma would be sad then. Thing bout police is you have to be in UK for 3 years, but I don't know if maybe there are some loopholes or something.

I know its... Bad? To do this and I personally hate the dole and such things because SO many people get that really don't deserve it, but I'm also going to apply for some benefits in the UK. There's a job seekers allowance thing I'll try for and another one I thought I had seen but I can't find it now :S

All in all, I'm going to be very poor young man, living day to day scrounging up money, and without many luxuries but I'll survive :P Its all for love. :D I mean Emma gets free travel (AS SHE HAS SO OFTEN SHOWN OFF ABOUT!) and can come see me without ME spending too much money.

OH! I'll also keep on trying for the Au Pair thing, my membership on the website expires at the end of Jan but I'll keep on looking till then and also when I'm in the UK maybe. There's all sorts of 'traveller' type things going, I think xD

Hhmm... I think thats it, but I know I'll walk away and remember some things. So ladies!! Give me your input and your complaints. ♥

To sum ME up right now...

2009-12-05T12:57:00.000+13:00

I know who I'll always be with ;)

I hate my computer.

2009-11-16T10:51:00.002+13:00

Alrighty! So its been a very, very long time since I've written anything here. I blame Emma!

First off, to appease the volatile blog gods, I've made a VBlog :D Its HORRIBLE and has been an annoying and shitty experience which I probably won't do again.

Its still uploading so there is no actual link yet, but YouTube/Denhous3 and its the one with me in it :D

My computer is really cool and a great machine.... Unless I want to watch videos(not from DvD) or play full screen games. Thank GOD I can play WoW in windowed mode or I don't think I'd have much fun with this computer. For some reason full screen apps blue screen it. But, whats weird is it happens randomly. Sometimes, the program is fine and actually runs, I exit it and start another video or whatever and I blue screen. I've had a look around, and no, its not my graphics drivers, I've completely removed them and reinstalled and updated and it still happens. I've cleaned up the computer, run checks and everything and it happens. Fucking frustrating -_-

But anyway! The VBlog is horribly done, which I apologise indefinitely for and misses out on most of what I wanted to say. I shan't write too much today, because I really am not fucking arsed. :)

UK is well and truly on track :) :) Only 80more hours working and I have enough money for flights and to pay back parents. The rest is extra money to help me :) I'll probably wait till the actual new year too talk to Beth properly again about any plans, because hopefully they'll still wanna take me in, and just need to find the best time. Need to talk to Liz and Emma too of course, because I wanna be able too see them when I arrive. Thinking Feb! Hopefully, maybe.

But there, thats all I can say, bbbyyyyee :D

Youtube FTW!

2009-10-18T23:07:00.003+13:00

Work

Work is going pretty well. I've been getting taught by Dave how to work the plastic wrap, starting to be able to understand it properly. Its fun to learn, not THAT hard, just a lot of stuff to check and to operate, adjust settings. I'd like to think that I could confidentially run it without supervision but I know thats not fully the case, but I could run it quite well, maybe with a little help.

I might be running the machine today, but I don't know for sure. There is a mag to get out and its Dave's day off and the other guy is off on religious leave. Dave had set up some of the machine settings on Saturday with just the actual wrapping section to be sorted out. I'd be very, very excited and pleased if I was allowed to run the machine, but nervous too, I wouldn't wanna stuff anything up!

I was also told on Saturday by Joy to not work so hard! Well, not so much work so hard, just not too over stress myself. Its quite funny actually, and sweet? She's concerned that even though I'm young and fit.... maybe not very healthy though (my opinion) that I shouldn't push myself to work so hard or so much. I don't really I don't think. I work at Post Wed-Sat and am basically full time (8hour days/40hour week) at Solutions, maybe 52hours in total a week.

Life

Oh! So today was quite fun, I finally honoured my pledge to pick up hitchhikers. :D I picked them up in my moms car in the Village. I can't remember exactly where they were going, started with 'K' and was short word, but it was a while away I think. I took them to... Kaukopakopa or whatever the fucking name is >.<> Kaukopakopa was on their way and was in the guys directions to go through, but its... Not EXACTLY in the middle of nowhere, but pretty much, and kinda small. Got a few houses and dairy and a school I think. Weather has also been shit, well, sunny/rain/cloud/rain/sunny. I just hope they weren't ended up stranded anywhere, it was about... 4hours till dark when I dropped them off. OH! Also... Is it just me, or is the facial features of Germans/around there, specifically the woman, kinda distinctive? I mean, I think I could have guessed the lady was German/around there without hearing them.

--

I spent a considerable long time on Skype to Emma 'last night' even though it was more this morning :D 8hours actually TALKING too her. Its not been the longest 'phone' conversation I've had (that one being 13ish hours) but its one of them. Its... Exhilarating to hear her and well, see her at the same time, we talk we laugh, we be silent, we do all sorts of things. It makes me feel all the more like we're together. We talked kinda... Serious at the end of our chats last night.

---

Tonight, was Top Gear on TV, unfortunately I slept through it, but thanks to Youtube I was able to watch the challenge portion of it. FUCKING HILARIOUS!! It was the 17y/o car challenge.

----

Last posts I talked about.. 'Bum girl'.

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs268.snc1/9533_174510202805_574137805_3774138_3781322_n.jpg

I TOLD you she had a nice ass :P I've already shown it to Emma >.<>

I can't remember if I said it last posts, I don't think I did, because I only worked it out recently.
I have my HSBC account sorted out. Well the paper work sent off.
I have enough money for my flight, $900 from Singapore airlines. (Will explain some SHOCKING research I found later)
I've worked out I should have a MINIMUM £4000 on arrival in the UK. This includes paying back my parents the money I owe them. I'm gonna be nicely sorted out there, hopefully. >.<>
Anyway, what I was saying earlier about the flights, its ASTONISHING what some people try to get you too pay, Singapore Airlines $900 while Air New Zealand and Quantas try to get me to pay $1,600! Its such a fucking rip. My dad and I were researching after I found a travel brokers whose most expensive flight was $8,000!!

----

Alright! Beed, gotta wake up early to talk to Emma and have my first morning shower in like... Ever. Well not true, but close enough. I don't see why people have them in the morning, it makes you way, way colder! I'd rather go to bed fresh and relaxed, but I just didn't have time tonight.

I need a new craft knife blade.

2009-10-14T07:46:00.002+13:00

Which is true, my old one is only about 5clips long and rusted and blunt from too much use, but my parents have upgraded their craft knife's at work with those larger ones so I can't steal a blade from them. My craft knife is very handy for work and also just general around my room/me. I clean the joins of my mouse with it and I cut paper and all sorts of cool things with it. I used too do my models with it too, but I've moved on from Warhammer so it's not used for that no more. To be perfectly honest, there is no point telling you this, I just needed a title that held some relation to the blog.

Now thats over and done, I passed my full driving test! Pretty easy and simple, except for the church fiasco... Now I just gotta wait for the real one to arrive in the mail and I'm set for the U.K. Kinda >.< Well, phase 1 has been completed. Only thing holding me back in $$ to get there and $$ to pay back parents and I'm good to go! WOW, I'm actually almost ready, its freaking amazing :D :D I wonder... If I choose to go there sooner if HSBC will still allow me to open my account, because on the form I said 21March was when I was arriving. We'll see, we'll see. I dunno if people would actually WANT me to get there sooner though? Sister will be in the states, brother will have his.... 'thing' to take care of (Its not really my business to discuss it here, just yet. I still need to ask him the questions from Emma!) and Beth/Dan wouldn't wanna be rushed and might still change their mind about me staying. We'll seeee people, I'm excited!

Emma and I officially became 6months together earlier this morning, isn't that awesome? It would have been a while ago though, if Emma hadn't taken a billion years to reply to my e-mail! :; But anyway! Isn't that cool? It seems waay, waaay, waaaay longer and in some cases kinda is, BUT we have to go by the 'official' timing. Like I said last post, hopfully my preeeezzies arrive fine :) We've got a few days to find out, mainly cause I was ssiiillllyy and only sent it last Friday, but its good, because then I wouldn't have bought her the really expensive ne--- present. Isn't teasing people FUN!? :D ♥

Hmm, I dunno what to have for lunch today, I think I'll go to the bakery on the way too work and pick up a pie and some sweet stuff, if mom gets here soon, because she has coins in her car and I don't really wanna use my card, mainly cause I can't find my card. Well, the one I KNOW has money on it and the bakery doesn't take credit card. I could go past New World but thats kinda outta the way right now AND traffic off the motorway will be a bitch. Its quite scary coming from home to work (instead of work to work) and seeing the HUUGE pile ups of traffic on the motorway and down the turn offs! I hope I don't become a commuter later on in life, get me a few extra minutes with Emma in the mornings in bed :P :$

THAT! Is another thing. Sheeeeeeesh! I get complained at for NOT reminding her and then when I DO she doesn't listen. Up at 5am to be ready to talk to her, because I won't be able to rest of the day, unless I call her, and you know what? She doesn't come online! SAME as yesterday! :; :P You know I loooovvveeee you! (I can imagine you being quite peeeeved reading this)

That 'hole' in my back is still there :S I felt it at work this morning, after having it gone for the past 2days. I really don't know whats up with it. TBH I think its a spot or something that my clothes keep on rubbing. Gaaah -_- I really need to remember to stay on top of my face washing and vitamin taking, I'm going over spotty again :( Its summer though, soon, so that means (When I have time between Emma/work and sleep) nice fun in the sun and at the pool, killing off all that bad bacteria! Get a nice awesome taaaaan (but knowing me, I'll have it for 2 days and then be white again) and show off to all those pale pasty wintered Britons. My body likes to do things half arsed, tanned for a few days only, well, Red, brownish, peel, white and my 'beared'. I can cut it and then have it grow back in a few days BUT once it reaches like... 2/3 of an inch it stops and just recently I went 2months of it at the same length! -_- I feel like such a little kid! I'm almost 19 :( Gaaaaah!

Hmm, Bakery, work, call Emma, work, lunch, work, break, work, home, sleeeeeeeeep and WoW today. We've been pretty bad as a guild in WoW this past week, only raiding one night and the rest having like 14people show up only. Hopefully this week shall be better, but one of our tanks is out till Sat, that might make people 'forget' to log on, even though we have about 5tanks in the guild. Bet Emma loved that, not understanding a word, but because its 'nerd talk' she's smiling xD

Fuck yea! Appreciated :D

2009-10-10T08:39:00.001+13:00

I went to work slightly later than usual the other day, so that I could talk to Emma a bit before hand, unfortunately her computer was fucked and I thought I wasn't going to be able to chat to her, but I did. I spent anOTHER $35 on calls to her xD Sheeesh, I'm retarded. Work less to talk to her, get less money. Spend money on her, to show how much I looooove her but then with all of this I have less money to be saved to GET too her. Its so tough -_- Either I choose to be able to keep in contact and care about her and take longer to get too her, or I completely ignore her work hard as fuck and get too her sooner, but I don't wanna ignore her (well, it won't truly be ignoring, but close enough) because she might get bored and want someone else!

But the main thing for this blog is my appreciation! I started work at 11am yesterday and there was a huge job on. I was told to go do my usual job of sleeving which I did. About an hour into it one of the higher up office ladies walked up to Dave, the machine operator, and said too him; "Hmm, 22,000? How'd we get so far so fast? We were only 10,000 earlier." And Dave points to me and says its cause I'm there, making everyone go faster :D Whoooop! I'm actually worth something good to the business. I felt pretty good about myself when I heard that. I hurt myself enough by being a fast sleever, cuts on hands, bruises on my legs, cuts on arms and bruises on my left bicep, that its good to see I do it for a reason.

Talking about that, its funny, cause now my left bicep is getting bigger than my right, and yet I'm right handed! I was gonna take some pictures of the work area and stuff and describe what I do and all that but I couldn't be fucked, and I've lost all the awesome descriptions I thought of at work to describe what I do.

I bought something (well two things), made something and have gifted something to Emma, $800 spent on her in 2days, so I hope it all gets through OK, I lied on the declaration thing to the prices of people might try steal it (OH FUUUCK I hope they don't). They crystal made it through OK, but you never know. I also hear there are strikes happening so all it takes is one disgruntled worker to see a thick package come through and yea xD

I got my full test on Tuesday, FINALLY, and then I can actually drive 60% of the time legally xD Not that I've truly cared otherwise though. Only been pulled over twice, and both times let off for the passengers, though the first time I WAS fined for that speeding >.< 64km.

I should file my nails sometime today, or I might be lazy as usual. I'm surprised the file still works, I use it enough and its old enough. I really like the style of it, some files just... I dunno they're shit! xD

Read, sleep, eat maybe clean room, WoW sleep and talk to Emma are on the cards for today, gotta wake up nice and early to talk to her before work, if she's on!

Things that remind us.

2009-10-07T21:54:00.002+13:00

Today at work, this lady sat next too me and I was able to smell her (weird I know, but TOTALLY not meaning it weirdly). The smell of her brought to my mind many, many memories from long ago for to me, she smelled like Jess used too. Jess always smell.... Clean. I don't know how to fully describe it, but she kinda smelled like how soap does when you wash your hands but without the, "Urgth! This is soap." feeling. I never tried to associate the smell of Jess with anything when we were together because it was just... "Jessie's smell" and when she went I had nothing to visualize in my minds eye. I was trying to figure out how best to describe the smell, but the more I tried to focus on it the more I lost the scent until I couldn't smell it anymore, but least I still had my memories?

I'm not trying to be a jackass to Emma, I'm just saying it how it is. I'm not gonna waste moments and memories with Emma, I'm going to take everything in and remember it all and never forget! I guess, it also helps that Emma is supposed to be giving me a girly top! Or maybe that was a joke, I dunno, I'd still wear it around xD

6 more days and Emma and I will have been going out officially for 6months. It really doesn't seem that long but then it also seems way longer. I'm sending her an AWESOME funny gift that hopefully she'll just *love*! Bwahahahaha!

Although... Hmm. I know I send Emma lots of random 'gifts' quite often, but I think 6months/Brithday/Christmas/1yea/2year/etc deserve something special? (Even though I've already told her, her next birthday and christmas presents for the next 3years is ME arriving in the UK!)

I was gonna sort all the stuff out for the package this afternoon so that I could send it after Job#1 tomorrow, but I came home, read, slept, read some more and then played WoW so time just passed and I haven't! I'll hopefully remember and take it with me tomorrow and do it between Job#1 and Job#2.

Gaaaaahh!! This is the third time today the muscles in my left ass cheek have spazzed out! They won't stop.... Popping? I know thats now what they're really doing, but its what it feels like!

There's been some trouble with the Official MSN servers and so aMSN isn't reading when people log in, though when they log out and when mail comes it still notifies me, just not when people log in. Its not THAT big a deal to be completely honest, just annoying. I like people able to see how long people have been on for and stuff. Also way back when, and recently too?, it showed me how long Jess ignored me before going offline -_- Bleeeeeh, thats all behind me but still, I dunno, I guess I'm just being peevish and small to still dwell on it. Emma and I always talk, as well as Beth and I (if she's on msn) and others, I don't EXPECT them to talk to me straight away but they do in the end, Emma usually straight away :$ which I really DO appreciate even though she doesn't have too.

Beeed now! Although I'm probably gonna read a little while, I really should get my clothes ready and get my phone from downstairs, but I really just can't be fucked!

There's a hole in me back...

2009-10-06T23:52:00.002+13:00

A few of the things I remembered tot alk about from the other post have been remembered and I have decided to talk about them now, seeing as you people would probably wanna know, but then again most likely not so I'll tell anyway, it keeps SOMEone from complaining at me! xD

The lady who is my supervisor at work has a daughter who works there too. Her name is Megan, though most of New Zealand and Aus say Meeegan -_- Anyway, this is the girl that a few posts ago I talked about accidentally smacking her ass and then one day last week she came over to the plastic wrap and helped out with us. She was wearing these tracksuit tight trouser things and daaaaaaaaaauuumn! She has a nice ass! xD Its like one of those.... Bubble ones. I dunno how to fully explain it, but its a bubble one! Though, I'm not really an ass man myself, but I thought I would tell you all because its funny! And yea, gotta make Emma jealous. Her moms pretty good looking too. I think she's like... 38 or so, not too old.

Talking to Emma just earlier reminded me of another thing I was to bitch about, but then I was distracted by making slurping noises... Skype is sssoooo much fun! I've FINALLY been able to get Emma to use it, after COUNTLESS times she's promised to do it xD I still wuuuub her all the same. I've been taking lots of snapshots of her and its like a picture monologue, quite fun.

I finally caught up on about 3weeks of webcomic reading! I'm still gonna get around to posting the links here some time I just dunno when, I might later today (as its already Wednesday) but I'm probably not gonna be arsed! Now that I'm not at work (because its slowed down now) I have time to do stuff but all I ended up doing today was Emma and some sleep and reading! xD I'm ssooooo terrible

Ha! I was gonna bitch about how some people always finish their blogs EXACTLY the same, I only remembered as I was about to say how I started out well on the blog and then failed miserably as the night wore on. I remembered cause, well, THAT is how I always end my blogs, such a hypocrite xD

OH! Right, I'm also missing a part of my back. Just below my left shoulder blade it feels like there's a bit missing and when I have a shirt over it, it just feels weird!

Bllllleeeeeeehhh!!!

I've sent off the paperwork for my UK bank account so hopefully that will get sorted out (and give me some nice encouragement to carry on with my plan) I have to SELL STUFF! But I can't be arsed, HOPEFULLY Emma can force me too xD. Works gone slow like I said just earlier but end of the month might pick up again, get mooolah again, would be quite nice :)

That... Is really about it. Once again a terrific let down. New Top Gear starts on Sunday, gotta try remember to watch it!!!!

And he bows to pressure.....

2009-10-01T09:38:00.002+13:00

.... Well, not really!

I was gonna have an awesome blog written about two weeks ago but I never got round too it, work just tired me out! I was mainly gonna bitch how Emma said too me to blog more so I blogged more and then I got tired of it told her and she said how she wasn't meaning for a daily blog just that it was more than twice a month.... So took a FOUR day break and she complained that I hadn't blogged in a while!

Hmm, I had a shit tonne to blog and talk about but I really can't be arsed, this is mainly a, here's something to read post.

Work is crazy tiring! Last work week I worked about 53hours at Job #2! My arms are scratched and fingers raw, got a swollen pussy one and quite a nasty cut on my hand from evil things! My legs hurt and I'm tired.

I might quit constantly raiding in WoW, least for a few weeks. It's not fair to let people down, but with daylight only in NZ we end raids at 2am, and that just doesn't give me enough to to sleep, so far all I do these days work/work/work/1hour nap/WoW/nap/work/Work. Not even time for Emma really, I've been calling her during my breaks and annoying her xD

I can't remember if I've said it before, but now, plans are more solidly in place! I'll be leaving here in March, after my birthday though, expecting lots of birthday sex from Emma when I arrive! I'll be staying with Dan and Beth for a while, not too long wouldn't wanna put too much pressure on them, I talked to them today, they're OK about it :) I'll send my computer to Emma with some more clothes and the such and then sell a bunch of stuff and be in the UK! :D
Alot more work to do before then though!

Thats really all I can be arsed to write! My fingers hurt and one is swollen!

People really need to learn to drive.

2009-09-17T14:15:00.006+12:00

I was on my way to my parents work just earlier, to take the laptop to my mom when going along the road a guy next too me kept on swerving into my lane and almost sideswiped me! And you wanna know thebest bit? The idiot had his seat at 25degrees. TWENTY FIVE! Asshole thought he was being 'cool' I bet.

I also hate people that don't know how to indicate and actually TURN. I swear 70% of the people I drive behind indicate for about half the road and then when I'm about to pass them because I need to use the lane they then swerve across! Its even worse when you have a feeder lane, with TONNES of pre-road area to turn into and make your way down to the turn, yet people insist of turing into this lane RIGHT before the turn...

Another thing is my road.

This is the view from going down the hill

And this is how much of a blind corner it is from the other side

Now.... You don't know how often I've driven around the corner to find people coming down the MIDDLE if not actually right on my side of the road. Idiots! Seriously....

Off to bed NICE an early tonight, gonna wake up nice and early so I can talk to Emma (hopefully) before work, then its back home like half hour talk to her then work again! I really actually enjoy working, its the not talking to Emma I hate. We haven't talked 'properly' for a few days now! She was really tired the other day, went to a party last night (against doctors orders!) and now later I'll be ditching her.

I do talk way too much about her don't I? God, I'm so clingy towards her :(

'Our' Song

2009-09-16T23:03:00.002+12:00

I was in the shower earlier and was thinking of how, mainly on T.V. and in movies, people in a relationship usually have a song that is 'Their Song'.

Emma and I have a song. Kinda. Its not like a; 'This song we heard on our first dance.' or anything, though its still special to us and something that... Its just something we know? I hope she'll agree with me on that its our song!

Goodshirt is a New Zealand band, that unfortunately has gone off the radar the past few years, but they have some really good songs and videos to match.
- Blowing Dirt. Is one such excellent video. Its so well thought out!
But the song by them that is the focus of the blog..
- Sophie. GREAT video and just a song that connects Emma and I. Not just lyrically but the history of how we first talked about it/heard it and my version of it. Its one of those things you can't really explain, its just something that 'is'.

Amy and I actually had 'a song' too. Although it wasn't as cute and how Emma and I have ours or as special. That... Averil Levreien? song with the 'Hey hey you you' thing. I made up a little version and sung it to her at Sky City once -_-

Jess.... Hmm, there is no song you could have ever really called 'ours'. Although there was a song I thought described how I felt about her. It wasn't really a 'Oh! This song, do you remember when you told me bout it?' type thing. It's actually done by a North Shore band, who go/went to Takapuna Grammar! Quite cool, specially as I didn't find out they were so close till waaay after I liked the band :P
Oh! It was,
-The Rabble, Carry On.

There is no little flashing ' | ' for my typing right now! Its freaky not having one, but you get used too it. I have no idea what happened too it, hopefully is fixed later :)

I really should sleep, but I have a nougat bar and a book just calling me. This morning I had my MSN on loud so that if Emma talked to me it would wake me up (which it did at 5am!) I'm not gonna do it again tonight, she doesn't deserve it! :P

♥

The which is upon the skin.

2009-09-15T04:16:00.002+12:00

For 3months, 10weeks, 3days and 20hours, I've had a tattoo on my arm, dedicated to a special lady. I've managed to keep it a secret from my parents for that long, without really trying though.

There have been a few 'Ooops! Almost.' moments but nothing very major. I don't think I'd really get in trouble, just the whole, "We're disipointed in you, you have it for life etc".

I think my tattoo is quite good and not over the top while still being noticeable, unlike some peoples! Oh wow, what they've gotten is just stupid.

Although... I was listening to a song the other day by The Protomen and I was given inspiration for another tattoo! I'd really like it but considering where I would put it, money and also the fact that I'd suck at designing it makes me falter. I'll probably wait a while, see Emma and have her input before getting it. Don't wanna go tooo crazy or else Emma will be given 'permission' to go crazy punky/white trash herself! :P

Off to work! There wasn't any work last night so I didn't work the night shift. Instead I'm working the early morning/morning shift. Just today though, hopefully they'll have more work for me the rest of the week! We'll see though, I'd better apply some more places once I know whats going down. I'd decided to not apply this week because if I was working it, I wouldn't want to turn anyone down, but now that I might not be, we'll see!

Witty Title Inserted Here

2009-09-13T10:31:00.003+12:00

There's really hardly anything to blog about!

I'm tired right now. I had this wonderful idea to try start getting into a sleeping pattern for next week but I've kinda failed at it. I went to sleep about 4am and woke up at about 9am but am still tired! Hopefully I'll be OK for this coming week :) The things you do for love xP

I found my red boxers! :) I finally went looking for them. They've seemed to have shrunk though but I'll survive.

Yesterday, before work I looked in the downstairs mirror while getting my keys and all that and I thought I looked incredibly good for a change! I couldn't seem to get a good picture though :( But now this morning, I've had a slight break out and I look horrible... Why does it happen that way!? -_-

My hands are healing! But they're gonna get ruined again this coming week. Well, actually maybe not because I'm doing a slightly different sort of work than last week. There are only going to be the two of us working this night shift and the 2nd guy will be in the back room for most of it, I hope I can handle it all by myself and nothing goes wrong! I'd hate to completely stuff up this opportunity its pretty good money, not that hard a work and a nice environment.

See what you people do too me? I write boring short as one sentence things when you make me blog more!

Owie ><

2009-09-10T22:14:00.002+12:00

So has ended another day of working. Was quite fun and easy to be honest. I also go to try some new things, I just need to figure how to describe them in my C.V.! More good news is I was offered some shift work for next week, 7pm-2am just loading a machine with paper/whatever. Easy work again AND I should get paid night shift hours, hopefully. I forgot to ask the supervisor (Joy) when I had the chance, but I'll ask her tomorrow when I pop in to do some training on the machine.

I almost broke another machine today! :O I loaded some fliers the wrong way in and they jammed the feeder killing the little motor in it. Luckily there were other feeders and I wasn't told off :D

OH! And I got my pay slip this evening too! $190 after tax, not too bad for 17hours work, just worried about the Kiwisaver part :s I'm pretty sure I've opted out of it but I don't fully know. Its another thing I really should find out tomorrow. I could probably log into my PostSaver info on the web, find out if the money went in there. Too tired too do it now!

This combination of the supplements and being more active has been making me look better I think. While its not THE best my skin seems to be getting clearer, hopefully I can be sexy enough for Emma when I arrive.

Thats it! Do you guys prefer these short posts? >.< I've still undecided.

Whoop whoop!

2009-09-10T09:45:00.002+12:00

Yesterday I got a call back from the job I was working on the weekend. Unfortunately it was 5am-1pm which clashes with Job #1 I do.

I wasn't really worrying about it, but I was slightly bummed, thinking that after all this time, getting a job that calls me back and wants me, I turned them down and now they weren't gonna have me on the top of the 'contacts' list.

I was wrong! :D I got a call during Job #2 asking if I wanted to work today, 1pm-9:30pm. I've accepted and now I'm happy! I'm on the road again to getting to the U.K. asap :)

Though, talking bout that, I'm still slightly stuck. BEing there might be a problem now! My sister replied to an outline e-mail I sent her the other week, basically with some helpful links and questions etc.

Getting a car is outta the picture :( I'm gonna miss driving. But its going to be pretty hard and expensive if I wanna drive straight away by myself. I'd still have legality on my NZ License to use a car etc for 2years but I can't have my own etc.

Also, one little statement has kinda thrown a dololly in the works.
"by the way, are you going to be here for Christmas and if so, what are you doing for it?"

I know its pretty weird, but I'd honestly completely forgotten about christmas! :O We don't really do it on a large scale and its just an extra day to me but to others its big family get together extravaganzas! If I come in November I'm going to be likely to be interrupting people and putting my fat ass in the way more!

Which also reminds me I should probably get a more consolidated 'there' plan worked out but in my mind I say to myself;
"Its a while away don't wanna stuff people around too much in case it doesn't come through"
But also thinking of that, its not really a while away. Its damn close! Which means that I'm probably not going to be able to do it this year :( I so badly want too though!

March though, I will 10000000% be there BEFORE March, before 21 March hopefully, because as I was reminded by reminding Beth, you can get Birthday sex! xD

Too lazy to shop!

2009-09-09T09:16:00.002+12:00

Alrighty, its the start of the one off posts... God, how I hate them xP

I have four boxers, well, three because thinking about it just now I've lost a pair. That number suits me quite well, I swap them out when I have a shower and we wash on the weekends and Wednesdays so there is always a clean pair ready.

But you see, I have a problem.

Like I said, ones gone missing! My really nice full red satin one! Although to be honest, I haven't really had a good look for it, its more a, 'Oh I can't see it, and I haven't used it for past 2months, I've lost it.." I'm sure its around somewhere! I don't go sleeping long times naked at peoples houses and we haven't given any clothes away so it should still be in my room.

I have a Garfield pair that is really cool because its Garfield! But the elastic has completely gone and I get riding up at the front or even worse it slopes down! So... If I'm unlucky enough to reach up and get my shirt caught and it lifts and then... Yuuup.

I have my Seashell one, that you can see in that previous post with my absolutely sexy body!! Its... ITS GOING THE WAY OF GARFIELD! :( Not as bad though, but bad enough. I've tried holding it up with an elastic band but it broke eventually.

The one pair that is fighting the 'tight' fight are my blue 'old age' ones. They say "Old age is like underwear, it keeps creeping up on you." But I fear they're going to go soon! Go to elastic heaven.

Which means, the main reason for this post, apart from being absolutely weird, is to get anyone to either BUY me more :D :D Or be able to motivate me enough to get myself some. Last time I bought some, my mommy bought them, about 5years ago! I've really had these 5years, really?! o_O

Just shows how little I've grown :( I'm tiny! Emma will loom above me and make fun of me then dump me! Though... I guess Jess was slightly taller than me, so it doesn't matter?

Oh noes! A rushed start.

2009-09-07T07:00:00.002+12:00

So, last night I went to sleep early at 12 so that I could wake up at 5 and talk to Emma nice and early and for long before she gets to sleep for school. I failed miserably! I went to sleep at 1am and I woke up at 6.30... Not that it would have mattered... THE COW :; :; Only came online at 6am!

Anyway, because I tried to get to sleep nice and early I left out quick a few things from last post, which you will all get to read about now! AND! Because its two posts straight after each other, I get another month of no posting available too me, OK? :D

Stuffing those envelopes, I've manages to get roughly 16paper cuts all along my hands! It reminds me when my thumb used to get smashed up by the craft knife, until I grafted toilet paper and sellotape around it. I couldn't really do that for this job, but I was able to put a plaster around it... When I got a huge cut. The thing about paper cuts is, they're more annoying than anything else, well for me. 90% of the time I don't notice when they happen, or I get a slight sting and carry on with my work... TO AN ORGY OF BLOOD! The bastard pricks bleed and bleed and bleeeeeeed! And if you get one that doesn't bleed, then if I carry on with my working things get caught in the little groove of the cut and once again, its annoying. Bleeeeh!

There's one adventure I wanna blog about, but I can't just yet! I'll just leave you guys wondering what it is. I'll probably be able to talk about it tomorrow or Tuesday, depending when she gets it!

So, like, I was totally having a shower last night, which got me thinking...
Wait... Thats probably not the best way to start THIS subject area... But anyway! :) I was there, and I was thinking, which usually happens in the shower, or when I'm trying to sleep, or just doing mundane tasks! I'm driveling again :S Anyway!

So there I was thinking and what I was thinking about waaas. Actually, no. I shan't tell you people what I was thinking at that particular time. I'll tell Emma privately maybe, if she asks. I WILL tell you people this :) Which was influenced by the movie I was watching last night actually. OH! And a 'Killers' music video I saw too, I think its one of their new songs.

So, I keep wondering and imagining what Emma's and mine relationship will be like. I *think* it would be a 'love story' style one, with late night cuddles and morning romance, all that stuff. But I don't know. It'll be a while till I 'sleep' with her, lol... It feels so weird talking bout it. I dunno! I've lost my trail of thought because this SMASHing young lady in a blue top walked behind Emma on webcam!

I just gotta remember, Emma is still pretty young, so am I too, even thought I've had quite a 'free' grown up life. I mustn't rush or over things things but I do. Gah! :S

There was a tonne more to talk about, but as usual I've been completely taken away with talking to Emma and I've lost it all to a haze of love and perversion! Even though its not MY fault she thinks admiration is being a pervert! xD

OH! OH! OH! That totally reminds me! LOL! LOL! The other day at work, I fully smacked a girls ass! Completely by mistake and a total fluke, honest! I wasn't really watching around me (which is unusual cause I generally take into account my surroundings when around people) and I was describing something and I did an action, moving my hand around, which happened to be flat palmed and ended up catching her ass! I was SSSOOOO embarrassed! She was nice about it though :) TOTALLY got her number and ending up having my way with her that night!

I've been chewing a lot of that mint gum at work, which helps keep me freshly breathed and doing something, but holy cow, it hurts you jaw after a while, I couldn't eat the other night cause I couldn't chew!

So, I've got an Emma to chase to bed, a C.V. to update, some more jobs to apply for, gym with Denny later, some sleep and of course some not eating! Action packed day! Actually, probably not too much sleep, working 12hours has actually made me less sleepy.

Explanation to all things evil.

2009-09-06T22:47:00.002+12:00

*People* have been badgering me to post, I even got dumped for not posting! You people make me feel SICK! But I guess I should explain why I don't post?

I like writing long information packed posts. I really don't see the reason of 'blogging' one paragraph or something. It just seems silly! So, I get many little stories saved up and aim to write them all up when I get a chance... Which I don't do, as you all have seen. I had thought of a solution to this problem, create a second blog for my one paragraph rages at things that happen, post a link in this blog and keep it all updated and have no complaints. I've been too lazy and have realised it's just going to make more work for me. I guess I shall create my one subject rages on this blog, BUT I WON'T LIKE IT YOU HEAR ME?! I refuse too!

A few weeks ago, I went up north to see my sister who lives there. I shan't go into much detail about it because it's a while ago and I can't be arsed. I would have, if I'd written a blog last weekend but I wanted to test Emma's dedication and test it I did! She failed miserably. ANYWAY! I'll get into that later. I went up north and we went around to some of her friends houses, about 4, and chatted and had fun. Telling 'lies' about Emma and how long we'd been together... But she does it too! So I'm allowed. Then went off too my sister's workmates 21st. So awkward not knowing anyone at these places >< But i guess its practice for the UK and being mauled by Beth and Emma!

The drive home, there was this 1km or so track of road works and during the drive through it a car coming the other way kicked up a stone and chipped my windscreen! -_- So much stuff has happened to me in my car and I haven't had it more that 1year! My dad's had his car about 3 or 4years and he's never had the problems I have, it feels so unfair!

I was crashed into too the other day! NOT my fault this time. Bastard broke my car, but the upshot is the guy he got to 'fix' it ended up fixing the whole bumper so now it looks VERY good, even though there's still a chance it could fail its WoF... :( But I'll get to that road when I get too it :) Just have to figure out more costs.

This current week has been a strange week. Hardly able to talk to Emma during it and we... hadn't been so good :(
I felt and still do feel that it is partly my fault, which Emma denies but we know is true! It feels so weird going so long without talking to her properly. Talking to her today felt so good and so natural and perfect again. I really don't know how to explain it, but it just feels so right.

One of the biggest things that had taken me away from Emma (after she got back from her concert) was work! :) I got a call back finally! It was only for this weekend but because I went there I'm likely to get a call back and get more work! So, for two days in a row I worked for 12hours, unfortunately like I said taking me away from Emma, but I can't really have THIS cake and eat it too, can I? I need to work to get the money to get to Emma but I want to b e able to talk too her. I guess... I could go a month just straight working 12hours, thats a bazillion bucks, get me to the UK when I'd planned. But... Its not going to happen, I'm probably not going to go in November, too little money too late :( Fucking pisses me off! I just want to be with her...

I've gotten a detailed e-mail back from my sister and my brother giving me hints and comments on the e-mail I sent them. Its helpful, kinda :P But depressing too! Quashing many of my plans! We'll see people, we'll see. I do still want to try get to the UK this side of the year, but the closer it gets to christmas the less likely people would be able to help...

I know its not much of a post, I might do another small one tomorrow :P I do have more stuff to talk about.. Like mirrors :D :D I kidd! I kidd. Hopefully these has appeased you people, or maybe just made you want more?

A whooole lotta updates.

2009-08-08T08:51:00.013+12:00

Cats

Yesterday I looked over to my bed, Boomer had been making some weird noises all morning but thought she was just snoring. I went over to cuddle her and she looked at me weirdly, all disheveled and sad. Looking closer she had gummy ick stuff around her mouth and wouldn't open it at all. I was able to call the vets just in time, the vet himself was just about to go to another clinic but he was nice and stayed to wait for me. It was a bitch to get Boomer in the SPCA box we had. I'd put a pillow case in there, so she'd have something soft and 'normal' smelling with her.

Walking outta the house (with the box) Boomer was yelling and crying and making all sorts of noise. I was worried someone would think I was stealing a baby or something because thats exactly what she sounded like.

It was one of the worse drives I've ever been on, I hated every bump and turn, I hated every noise she made and all I wanted was her to be OK.

Arriving at the vet, he saw me straight away. Once out of the box Boomer was less vocal and happier seeming, even though she was frightened. The vet was really nice and careful with her, and professional. Oh by the time I'd gotten to the vet, the gummy stuff had all gone, mainly because Boomer was making so much noise and opening her mouth, must have cleaned it away. Anyway, the vet opened her mouth and there were all these legions and ulcers on her tongue and back of mouth. The vet thought she'd had something poisonous, gave her antibiotics and some pain killers, did a check up and gave me some squirt in mouth antibiotics to give her once a day at meal time. Nothing else we can really do.

Drive home she was slightly better but still vocal and iffy. Getting her out and in the lounge she was happier to be home :) Talking to the Body Corp, (my mom did, I had gone too sleep) They were apparently dismissive and all "Ooh nooo, the gutter people are really good they use good stuff" But we weren't denying that. But anyway, I can't be fucked telling that story. We figured out that the stuff had dripped off the roof and wasn't fully washed away so there was then a black line along the courtyard so, we figured that this table that Boomer drinks off of and walks on, the stuff had gone on there and condensed and because it hadn't rained it dried up slightly so got less diluted and then Boomer drank/walked on it. She's being OK now, hard to eat :( I feel terrible for her.

---

I love my cats! They get away with SO much with me, I always pamper them and treat them like princesses :P (Emma's my Queen and their new mommy so... Makes sense? :P) Anyway, They get what they want, usually involving the bed and covers! I make so much effort to not disturb them, usually ending up sleeping on the very edge or being uncomfortable or even not having any covers. Or contorting my body (good thing I CAN do that) to let them have space under and on top of the covers. I always wake up to let them in the window or stroke them. The only time I draw a line with them, is they can't sit in me while I on computer, even though Purshea tries a million times a night!

Thats bout it... There was more to say but I can't remember what it was!

Oh, my car smells of cat pee and I'm pretty sure its over some of my bedding -_- Gotta get around to cleaning it today :D Maybe.... Hmm, I could clean the blanket that Jess and I ruined too >< style="text-align: center;">Life/Future

So.... Life is going down the crapper. Denny and I hung out the other day and were talking. I need a minimum of $300 a week to make my minimum $7,000 needed to go to the UK by November. Sure, $300 a week extra is hardly anything to be honest but its fucking hard when you can't get hired to be able to work for that $300.

I've applied so many places with so many different styles of work. But so far its just rejection/rejection/rejection! :( WHAT IS SO DAMN WRONG WITH ME! I'm just about to apply for about 17other jobs. Hopefully something might happen with them? I dunno.

It means I might find it harder to get enough money in time for Nov. Which means I might have to come at a later date, maybe even Feb/March. I know its not very far away, but it stuffs me up....

I want to go see Emma, I've explained this previously why its so 'urgent'. Also another reason is Liane's job offer. Having that has been a HUGE motivation and a weight off my shoulders because it gives me a set up already upon arriving. But... If I come later, would it still be available? I don't want to stuff people around and I certainly don't want to lose the opportunity at the job. Gah -_- Why is this so hard. There also trouble with places to stay... OK I haven't done too much alternative searching. To be honest... If I did that, I'm likely to get saddened by this idea. Its gonna cost a bit to flat and all that :( Gaaaah!!! I'll figure something out, I have to figure something out :( I was sat in bed thinking bout all this last night, well this morning.

Bitching

So... I have some bitching too do. At drivers, at my body and I dunno there was a third thing but I can't remember it.

I always seem to bitch about drivers when I'm not always the *best* driver I know. But seriously why are some people allowed on the road? They can't follow the rules and driver stupidly (Like, not speeding stupid but like... 40KM in an 80KM zone, with clear road ahead and clear weather!) Or... Don't know how to read the rules.

Here in NZ, you have to indicate off a circle. So, say you're going straight before you exit it you have to indicate (Not many people do cause its silly) but to go around the circle and turn right, you have to indicate which everyone does :D But THEN... You get idiots who are going straight but indicate right.... Because they're indicating to ENTER the circle... -_- Fucking idiots.

---

So... My body, again. Over the past... 3months I've become pretty OCD ish about my teeth. I brush them about 4/5 times a day! Once before work, when I get home, usually before I leave in the afternoon and when I get home in the evening and THEN before I sleep! I run my teeth over my molers and I swear I have cavities, but looking in the mirror I can't really see. I don't wanna go in front of someone and all "OH MAH GAWD LOOK MY TEETH??" Though the dentist didn't say anything when she fixed my front tooth so maybe they're OK. Hopefully. :(

I also hate my skin.. I always seem to break out and I hate it, I was it with just water and I wash it with just Clearasil or a mixture of the two. I use a clean towel always to dry, I swap between patting and wiping and still... Some days I'm fine, others are shit. :( I hate to look bad for Emma, I want her to like me physically as well as personality wise.

I guess it is also my fault cause I pick sometimes... I'm right now trying to remember to NOT pick or scratch of play or anything and if I NEED too, to only rub with some cloth or something try not to break the skin, don't want too many scars. I'm getting too old for these problems!

---

I remembered the last thing I wanted to bitch bout. Sex.

Its not so much a bitch, more an observation. While sex (and the before's and after's) is fun and 'cool' I don't get why some people are all,

"OMG MUST HAVE SEX SLEEP WITH A DIFFERENT CHICK AFTER A PARTY!!!!!!!"

Or pay for it, especially when its EXPENSIVE. Oh! This is brought on by a doco I saw on TV where this British reporter lived in a Brothel for like 6months, it was actually quite interesting.

I'll admit as a younger boy, with trying to be 'cool' and all that, having sex was an achievement, now I look back, I don't see why I was so eager bout it. I wouldn't change having done it... Well... Changed the time, cause its what screwed me over with Jess' parents (Seeee what I did thar?? 'Screwed' while talking bout sex! ZING!) But anyway, I dunno what I'm really going on about, I just... I don't get why its some sort of social pressure to be sleeping around so much. I've only 'been' with one person, and expect to only 'be' with two in total. Some people have said things similar too, "But Denholm, you should try different things out" I don't really want too. I dunno how Emma feels, I guess its kinda selfish to say she should only have ever been one person, but then again... I'm not saying she should go around to some randoms, I dunno what I'm saying to tell the truth, I'm at an angle with a cat on my arm hunched over, tired and hungry.

"Sexually active straight men on average have had 16.5 sex partners since age 18" From Here 16.5!!! :O Oh and the rest of the article is pretty good too. Its short so don't worry.

Hmm.. I think thats it? I dunno, I went out with Denny and lost my trail of thought (I bet it was when we were listening to Miley at high volume at the lights! So crack up) '

Jess and I fooled around a lot, I think mostly outta boredom and as an experience? I dunno, we didn't always have sex though. I think... Thats my point maybe? You can be sexual without having to actually have sex? Or something I should go give Boomer her antibiotics and post this!

And there you have it...

Beth: Why I was sad.
Emma: What happened to Boomer.

Sigh

2009-08-01T23:10:00.007+12:00

I've got some stuff to update on :D Quite a few.. 'improvements' since last post.

Though... I don't really know why, I feel so alone right now. Don't really feel like writing too much, but I don't like doing small posts I'm just going to try write it all. Though I was thinking... In this state of mind it might make me write what I want to write in a better way.

The other day I called Beth's mom, felt kinda bad cause although Beth said I should at THAT time, I learned they were at a party or something. She seems like a really nice lady though :D Like I said to Beth when I quickly talked to her after, sounded posh, but thinking bout it, its probably mainly cause she's older xP - I am *so* going to get Emma to just talk inanly to me, just so I can hear her accent and just to hear her voice :$ - But anyway, I feel pretty good, once it gets closer to the time I will double check, but I can work for her. Exciiiiiting! OK... I don't know how much I would be paid, only know like work times and stuff from what Beth has told me, I probably should have asked that, but I didn't want to sound too pushy. I mean she's being REALLY nice even thinking bout hiring me, don't want to sound ungrateful.

I really need to get in proper contact with my brother and sister. I've talked every so often to my sister bout all this but not my brother. Its also been mostly just generalisation of stuff. I need to confirm things, I don't want too though. I probably would once I get a more permanent 2nd job over this side and have a higher income so I can set myself up easier. Once again I'd need to confirm properly and closer to the time, but I can stay in the caravan they have in the... lot? field? Or... I can't remember who said it, I think Beth and I can't remember if it was the exact areas, so... I'm probably wrong, but Liane's (Beth's mom, cause writing Beth's mom each time... Just weird!) place in 30min from Emma's, I could *so* crash at hers, and commute each day :P Of course, once again I don't want to force myself onto people. Also, my dad asked how I was going to get there, and I said 'Drive!'. He said how and 'Don't I know it will cost money'.

Ages ago (March to be exact) my brother was telling me how easy it was to actually get cheap cars in the U.K. Get an old banger.... Well, not too old and not too crappy, need to look smexy for the ladehs :D Wake up whenever I need to wake up, get there, work, come back. Eventually have a 2nd job added to the roster, I don't know!

One good thing... Kinda... "Jobseekers Allowance" I can... probably apply for that. Need the British version of an IRD number though. Looking up online HOLY FUCK you need a face to face interview with the people and all sorts of other stuff and thats for REGULAR people who lived there for ages.

I can easily set up a U.K. bank account though, just need 750 pounds ($2.500 or so) as start up capitol. One massive hurdle easily sorted out.

I really want to get to the U.K. asap. Right now... I've set myself for November because I will have my full by them, which will DEFINITELY be accepted, and I can use it for 1year no worries.
Financially though.... If I get a proper 2nd job pretty soon, I can have some start up capital. But 31March is when my Post Saver renews and I can get 20% of the Post contribution and also when the financial year ends, getting me my tax back for this year. I'd have more start up money too. Also, I'd miss out the harsh part of winter :P But I can just stock up on thermals! But... I'm a love struck impatient little boy. If I wait that long, I surely shan't have a shot at the job for Liane and you don't know how much I want to be with Emma. Sure, 'you've waited 3years whats an extra 6months?" but its a freaking long time. Like I said, I've felt really alone tonight, I don't know exactly why, but I know its to do with not being with her :(

Its also just little things... I really have nothing keeping me here, I'd want to spend her birthday with her, I want, I want, I want. All I do is ME wanting. To be honest, being there probably isn't the best thing for HER, she needs to focus on school and life, shouldn't have some deadbeat boyfriend hanging around.

I don't know... My sister talked briefly to me the other day.

"but what about your plans and your goals and your dreams and what you want to see and do and places to explore?"
"so you're willing just to follow and then 40 years from now look back and see all the things that you wished you had done but didn't"

Could be that I'm young, too spoilt but.... I don't need a massive getaway to be happy and feel fulfilled, I'm really easily entertained and laid back and casual. I don't know how to explain it. I am content to chill out, work hard 'throw away' my future (Using ' ' because I really don't think I am) to be happy and be with her. If all else fails, I have lots of connections in the U.K. that could hopefully help me out :D And if not... I'll come back here, work my ass of more and try again, knowing that at least I tried and at least I was able to be with Emma.

Its been almost three hours writing this. I told you I wasn't really up for it, probably is hardly understandable.

Night all. I don't know when, but Emma should be home VERY soon!

Today I....

2009-07-28T20:43:00.004+12:00

Today I received a package.

In this package I got.

1 'Happy Birthday Husband' Card.
2 Drawings
3 kisses
'Fuck you'
'No'
A chocolate wrapper.
A clothes tag - One of those ones with the price and barcode, for stores.
And a letter.

I'll show you guys a picture of the card and perhaps the wrapper and barcode later :P

I've been giddy all day, well all afternoon since being given the letter and opening it, which is kinda bad with my tooth being chipped making me look weird :S

But anyway!

Isn't it awesome that little things between two people can be so cool? I mean, a chocolate wrapper and a clothes tag, no real significance to anyone except us. Its our own little thing, that I'm sure I could explain too you, but it spoils it then.

It really amazes me the little things between us and how many there really are. I hope I'm not shoving my foot in my mouth by saying this but.... Its something that Jess and I never really had. Emma and I have such a... Oh to be cliche... Chemistry between us, that just allows us to properly 'get' each other. We share so much, while still being able to be 'personal' from each other, which... Jess and I never really did. It just feels so much more perfect between us, we can communicate properly and it never seems like a drag to talk, we're *happy* to talk to each other and we enjoy it.

---

Today I also got my hair cut at the salon. When... I've told Denny this story.

The hairdresser that cut my hair was... Well 'chested' which is important for this story.

Nearing the end of my cut she was behind me, twirling my hair in the comb, doing all that hairdresser stuff, working on the middle of my head. I leaned back slightly so she could work easier (Aren't I considerate?). I lean back and whooa! These chairs have a head rest?! I didn't remember them being like that, but cool!

Eventually... I realise I'm nestling my head between her chest >< Oh god I was so embarrassed! Denny asked if I hadn't seen it happening in the mirror? But... I'm blind of course. I don't think she really noticed or cared thankfully!

I really like going to the hairdresser, when they wash your hair at first and then put in the gel stuff after the conditioner and they kinda massage it in :$

---

I also bought a calling card today! Going to be calling Beth's mom.... Tomorrow! I e-mailed Beth to ask her mom's name cause...

"Hi, is this Beth's mom?"

Makes me feel embarrassed :$

I don't really know what I will be saying to her either, I'll figure something out. Like I've said to Beth,

"I'm Beths random internet friend, and was told I should call you?"

Seems... I don't know. Weird!

---

Off to sleep early! Night :D

Only a few more days till Emma is back.

Three Years Later.

2009-07-27T22:29:00.007+12:00

I started telling this story a while ago, if you can remember and now its time to let it be known.

Three years ago 'exactly' I met a wonderful woman, who is now my wonderful partner :D

I say 'exact' because unfortunately we don't fully know when we started talking. Bebo (where we started talking) only counted their comments in weeks. But we know it was August so we said the first of August was a good idea.

Before Emily says anything, its 3years, its 3x 52weeks, I'm counting it for a perfect *length* not anniversary date. But anyway...

----

I would never have expected that one tiny comment would lead me to the single most wondrous, exciting and gorgeous person in my life.

Back in the day when I was a naive, girl crazed little boy, I was trolling the interwebs, picking up chicks xP It sounds so bad, I know, I don't really know what I was doing. I wasn't truly just going around trying to pick up chicks, I'm not really like that, but I can't fully explain it.

I ended up leaving my generic comment on one profile, and this person replied, I was excited :$

At first I didn't contemplate that this person was from the U.K. I was actually under the impression Bebo was only Australia/New Zealand and though 'Reading' was some random place in Auz or in the womps of NZ.

Eventually, I found out, it didn't change much, just made me understand why she was on msn at random times and a few things, to be completely honest, I was pretty gutted, even after only talking a little, I'd started feeling a crush on her :$

I was naughty back in the day, I've brushed about my 'bad boy' friends slightly, a few times I just decided to ditch school. Usually for a specific reason, just damn lazy, needed to catch up on some work. One huge thing that usually swung it for me, to stay home, was there was a high chance of being able to talk to her. A few times it paid off and I had an awesome morning, a few times though, I just bummed about.

(I'm going to get told off bout that, even though she knows and told me off when she found out, I bet she's going to say it again!)

A long time passed, we became more friendly, my life changed, so did hers but we kept up our friendship. To tell the truth, I can't really tell you much bout this period, it 'just happened'.

When things did properly start happening (not really 'romantically') It was only a year and a half ago. This is when we checked Bebo for how long we'd known each other - Well, she checked hers - This is when I got my own computer so had more time online, it was also when I could legitimately get out of school in the mornings :D Gotta love study xP Specially when you had it first period Mondays, and because you had Geography period 1 on Tuesday you could skip that morning too, but anyway! This is about her, not my study habits.

One major shake up in our friendship was that little bitch Amy. She'd somehow gotten it into her head, Emma was trying to steal me and I was a man whore (This wasn't 'Emma' specific btw) so had to keep me away from all the girls. I'd told her to piss off for about 3 months but finally gave up. I did a stupid asshole thing, well.. Kinda. I deleted Emma off Bebo, but still talked to her. As you can guess she was pretty upset (Emma) and was angry and hurt. She forgave me though, which everyday I'm thankful for.

This was in February 08. I remember because my mom was in the U.K. and I was going to get her to organise some flowers for Emma, I even got her address. I never did it though :S I wish I had.

I grew more attracted to her, still had my crush on her from waaay before. I know... 'Its exactly what Amy was talking about you bastard!' But.... Nothing was going to come of it and it wasn't like we were doing anything, just friends, who one had a huge liking for.

Amy and I broke up for the first time. Emma was there, my awesome friend.
Amy and I broke up properly. Emma was still my awesome friend.
Jess and I got back together. Emma supported me.
Jess and I had our on going troubles. Guess who was there? Emma ♥

And now Emma and I are together, only a short time, but we're going strong.
She really knows me the best out of anyone and has experienced the most from me, even though its online. We may have only been going out officially for 3months, 2weeks, but we have longer history than that.

There's more to our story really, but... I don't know what to really say about it? We're complex.

Also... I was planning on having a text to Emma, Facebook status update and this blog posted exactly at 12, but... I kinda failed. First two were easy, but Andy distracted me with tax back stuff and its now 12.15!

Anyway, goooodnight! :) Hope each one of you... Three that read this, can have your own love stories. Having someone special, that you care unconditionally about, its just one of the most rewarding things.

Michael Jackson killed the radio star.

2009-07-21T23:09:00.002+12:00

So, when I had originally decided to talk about this subject it was Michael Jackson's funeral and by only writing this blog now, I'm going to be one of those that I'm about to bitch about. Sorry!

Anyway, lets pretend that we've gone back in time :)

This morning was Michael Jackson's funeral. I know this, because the radio was on, I also know this because literally every 8minutes the hosts talked about how, "We're going to cross over live to Michael Jackson's funeral ceremony in a sort time." They didn't. Well, To be honest they did, but at like 7.45am. They'd been talking about it since before 6am.

But anyway, oh god it pissed me off, can you please just stop going on about it, play some music?? Mainly I was feeling pissed off before hand, this just finally set me off.

At work, we have... I guess call him an intern type person? He always puts the radio on, onto some crappy easy listen radio station. Literally in an average 2 hours of working, they play like 20songs max. The rest is fulled with adverts and complete drivel from the hosts. The utter crap that spouts from their mouths is scary. It wouldn't be too bad I guess, if they played some nice songs, I usually like to think I'm pretty easy with what I listen too, but some of the songs they play... Urgth! And you know what else?

Radio stations usually do this "no repeat workday" thing, where they guarantee they won't play the same song in the same day. You know how they get round this? They play it 3 days later at the same time zone. I'm not joking, I've heard the same Cher song, around the same time, for the past 3 weeks, on Mon/Wed and Sat. And thats just one example. Bout half the playlist is repeated!

I am so terribly glad I can actually choose my own music that I want to hear, when I want it.

----

Its so much harder to get a job than I thought! I've applied to about 30 (30 PIECES OF CLOTHING EMMA!) or so places, haven't heard back from any of them :(

Just gotta keep on applying. I guess its most likely the places I've applied? They're not, "OMG SKILLS YOU NEED PHYSICS KNOWLEDGE", but they're not, "Dugh.. Me Den. I work. You pay. Woman and man, sexy sexy now."

Though, that brings me onto an awesome bit of news!
Well.. Kinda :D I know its hardly definite, and more than likely not, wouldn't happen, and I shouldn't get my hopes up planning around it BUT!

Beth has said she might just be able to get me a job working for her mom, which would be AWESOME.

Basically, it means I can go to the U.K. way sooner, maybe even November? I'd only have to save up airfare and spending/tide me over *short* term money and yea! In that case, I would take the crappy $12.50 Blockbuster type job and work my ass off, get lots of moolah and be on my way :D

All speculation and hoping right now, but you never know, doesn't hurt to think about it... Does it?

---

Emma asked me earlier, if I was nervous. First I thought it was about first meeting her, but she said it was, "The moving and everything, cos you never seem nervous." No, I don't really feel nervous, to be honest I haven't rreeaallllyy thought about any bad sides to this all. Its just not something I tend to do, if you remember one of my firsts posts about when my WoW account got hacked and I was pretty laid back about it all. Well, thats what I feel bout all this.

When she made the comment, that the way I feel not nervous, makes her *more* nervous, I told her, its because she's not silly.

Which is true, aren't I being 'silly' just packing up everything, and moving at one chance of 'true love'? Who knows, I just know it feels right and it feels like something that should be done. She's worried, that things in RL would be way different than they are now. Which is understandable, but... I dunno. I want it all to work. I just think things in RL will be 1000% better and in a way only better? I know.. I know.. Its niave to think that, but I do. I'm like... a 10year old mind set sometimes.

---

Picked up my new glasses today, have yet to wear them I want to get some pictures first... I dunno why, show them off in all their snazzy glory! They're way different than my normal ones. My normal ones, have a bend in them at the ear, my new ones, are straigh and feel kind of weird!

---

noFX and Bad Religion are playing, here in Auckland in October, I'm going and I'm excited :D A few friends and I are going.

---

"Dave... There's no such thing as Yeti's" Hahahahaha omg, its a serious advert but it cracks me up so damn much!

A Little Love Story.

2009-07-10T00:27:00.004+12:00

The grass still smelt from the rain the night before. He stood near the stairs, apprehensive, waiting for her arrival. He felt weird, that after all this time; they were finally going to be together.

His hands slid down the front of his shirt, stubbornly trying to get rid of the crease in the middle, hoping she wouldn’t notice. He wasn’t too absorb to not see her on the far side of the park, the sun just catching behind her making her seem like an angle coming over the crest.

“This is it.”

He thought. Breathing out slowly, trying to compose himself, thinking of how to act. Forcing his feet clumsily forward, step by step they became closer. He could hear everything around him; the keys jingling in his pocket, the 3little boys chasing each other behind him even the far off traffic, yet only see her coming.

They were just meters apart; he could see her in detail. The few strands of hair caught in the corner of her mouth, the huge grin she was wearing. There was so much to take it at once, he was overwhelmed.

With a shy laugh, he quickly burst out with a,

“Hi!”

Shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at her. He should have done more, but he didn’t know what to expect. She just laughed and looked away at the kids playing.

“How are you?”

She almost whispered, as if they were forbidden words. She tugged the hair out of her mouth only to have it fall back down.

“Its not going to let you win, you know?”

He told her jokingly.

“Its going to keep falling there till you give up and just eat it!”

Waving his arms frantically, as if to imitate hair. Because, we all know hair has arms!

“I am not going to eat my hair, thank you very much! I just should have brought my hair tie.”

She retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

“You know I’m going to bite that off, if you stick it out at me too often!”

He warned. Moving closer to her, losing his sense of uncertainty.

“You wouldn’t dare! You’d get blood all over you and then you’d have to clean it up”

Was all she was able to muster, before her hair fell forward over her face. Before she was able to move it away, he had pushed his hand up against her cheek, running his fingers through the strands of hair, flicking it back.

“Would you like some help?”

He offered as his face came up to hers and he looked into her eyes, those sparkling brown eyes. She tried to look away, but wasn’t able, captivated by his stare and moved closer to him. Their bodies were touching now, and their lips straining to do the same.

There they were. Standing in the middle of the field, his one arm wrapping around her side, his other hand playing with her hair. Her hands on his chest, her eyes looking in his.

His lips moved to hers. There they were, resting near hers, yet, he did not fully kiss her. He smiled slightly and she did the same, they were perfectly happy just like that, foreheads together, and in each others arms.

“You know you mean the world to me?”

He spoke softly, the words barely audible.

“Of course I know.”

She replied.

He kissed her. Their mouths locked in an embrace that neither wanted to end. Time passed slowly, it was as if the world around them no longer existed and it was just them two blissful in their happiness.

The broke apart, still holding each other. The world came rushing to meet them again, but they didn’t care, they were going to be able meet it together.

“Shall we go get lunch? You know… Seeing as we’ve been standing here the past 2hours.”

He said laughing, his smile radiating from his face.

Holding on tighter to him, she breathed out and muttered,

“That means letting go of you though.”

Pulling her chin up so she was looking at him, he kissed her brow.

“Don’t be silly! I’m gonna be rriiiiight next to you.”

Taking her hand in his, he started walking away, before suddenly stopping.

“Hmm…” He hummed, facepalming.

“I don’t know where to go! Lead me woman!”

He commanded before have a tongue stuck out at him.

“If I must!”

She comically huffed before leading him away from the park into the distance.

-------

She is you. He is me. I love you.

-------

Heh, I’m not a good writer. Sorry :S It sounded better when I was laying in bed thinking it up! And it kinda… Went very different even as I was writing! I can’t keep style very well.

What the future brings.

2009-07-04T23:52:00.013+12:00

The past two days have brought on some very prolific strives forward for my up and coming future.

-

Had some in depth conversations with my sister, my parents and myself.

I think I'm mainly writing the things in the post for myself, maybe for some feed back from you guys, but like I said, mainly for myself.

I'm not going to be going back to Uni this coming semester. Instead I've enrolled at "The Correspondence School" get me my NCEA Level 3 Certificate so at least I look more qualified than I actually am. Its been kinda expensive to decide that Uni really isn't what I'm interested in ($2,000 for the 1 semester course) but I guess better spending 2k now than 15k next year.

I might do some sort of degree type thing later on in life, but I want to work on the 'now' more.

-

Anyway... What am I going to do instead? I'm going to work!

Right now my expenses per month are some what like this.

+$400 - From working at Post.

+$400 - General allowance / Casual work from parents.

-$60 - Petrol.

-$50 - WoW Subscription.

-$780 - Random ass shit, because I'm an idiot and over spender.

It really saddens me to realise how much money of mine just goes to waste.

I owe $500 on my credit card. Easy enough to pay back... If I didn't waste all my money.

-

THAT is the past though, this post, is what is happening in the future!

I'm getting my mom to help me with a full on proper C.V. tomorrow, then.... Go out looking. If I absolutely have too, I will work at Pack & Save, not really the best place, but to get my goals I would.

-

Saying I want to work at only such and such a time... Is an option I really want to use, but I know thats not always the way things work. Mornings I have my job at Post and I have the only real time to talk to Emma. I know skipping every 2nd morning or similar talking to her won't be that big a deal (kinda, it will still hurt :[ ) but to go back to how it used to be, only talking to her on weekends really will not do it for me. I'm waaaaaay too attached to her.

My other limitation is my commitment to my guild. Yea, sure you guys can say;

"But its only a game you stupid nerd!"

Sure, but its also a commitment and an obligation. I'm there not just for the benefit if myself, but others. I guess in a way its not really stopping me from doing anything job related, as the GUILD raids start at 9pm my time. But we also do a group raid (although lately.... We've hit a very rough spot -_- ) that we try to get going around 7pm my time. So.. I have 12pm-7pm open time available for a job. *sigh* I do want too much.

-

If I work for 4hours a day, for 4days a week, at $10 after tax (it would be more than this, seeing as minimum wage is $12.50, it was just easier to work out).

Thats $40 a day. $160 a week. $640 a month.

$640 + $800 = $1,440 per month.

$5,760 over 4 months.

$11, 520 over 8 months. (I say 8months, because this is the time I am truly aiming to be moving. But... I don't know)

$17, 280 in 1 years time. Lets say thats the 20th of July 2010. At the latest.

-

Then... I can get my 09 tax back. Sell my car. Have my leave paid out to me from Post. Have my Post saver paid out to me. Sell the other random things I have in my possession.

So.. Roughly $20,000 in 1 years time. Most likely more. But lets work with $20,000.

-

I had a conversation with my dad earlier. I was always thinking I owed them around... $7,000. But we talked and he is determined that I only owe $2,700. :S I really don't think that is enough.

So.. Lets call it $4,000 that I owe them. That leaves $16,000 for 'me'.

Airfare... Lets call it $2,000.

I have then $14,000. Which is as of right now, but who the hell knows what its going to be like later, is £5,300. Thats *really* not enough is it? :(

-

Of course... Its not supposed to be providing for me for the full duration of my stay, just till I get more settled, have ANY sort of job. I know for the first few weeks I wouldn't have to pay rent, but I will eventually. Its to provide for food/helping my sister. Its to provide for trips to see and surprise Emma. And generalities. Would disappear very, very quickly.

-

My sister was worried I was thinking too much in the 'now' and not thinking enough about the future, future. Which... Is true. In a way. I haven't fully planned anything past meeting and being with Emma and how I shall meet her for the first time :P She doesn't know whaaat I shall do, but I'm just going to keep her guessing.

Anyway... I have a 'fluffy' plan. My 'fluffy' plan is to be happy, happy with her. If that means I have to still wake up at 5am doing some arse end job, I will. My sister has the concern that I will still be doing an arse end job when I'm 30... When I'm 40... etc and miss out on life, having only weekend off or whatever. I'll admit I don't really know what I'm going to do, but no matter how far fetched it seems, I'm going to be with her and THAT is what shall make me happy.

-

Emma has mentioned, she doesn't really want to be in the UK for very long, because all thats happening too it. Maybe that makes my 'need' to go there so soon pretty redundant but I'm going to go there, and go there soon.

We can just see what happens. If we move, we move (hopefully together). She has family in Aus and has said she likes the idea of studying there. Maybe thats where we will end up? We always have ties back here to NZ. I never want it to seem like I'm holding her back from where she wants to go in life, all I know is I'll be trying my best to be there with her.

-

Any other plans? Nope... Just the general. Get to the UK. Get a job. Be with Emma. Be happy. :S

---

This ties in with Emma's post the other day and my comment too it. I heard on the radio this morning at work, $2,000,000 worth of forestry (If it was cut/regrown/etc) was gifted to some Maori people. I can't remember the size but it was a HUGE chunk of land.

Whats gonna happen to this land? 90% chance absolutely nothing at all, and it will all be wasted. I'm not going to go too much into my opinions right now, as I already have in the comment to Emma, and also, because this post is long enough :P Just wanted to share.

---

While writing this there have been a few adverts on TV for electronic cars and hybrids and all that. I really don't understand why people can't see that hybrid cars and electric cars have NO way of helping the mythical global warming. I say mythical because it is. I'll explain one day properly my stance on it, right now, I'm talking bout the cars!

How do the cars run? Electricity you say? GREAT for the environment, everyone should get one and we're going to like save the world!

>_> Idiots. Where does that electricity come from? More than likely not power plants.... That burn fossil fuels, run nuclear reactors and all that good stuff. Basically all you're doing is pretending you are making a difference when there will still be the same pollution effect.

---

3am! :D Better sleep so I can wake up in time to talk to Emma in the evening. Hopefully she's had a great day! Most importantly a tiring day :D Easier to chase her to sleep.

Watch It.....

2009-07-04T01:32:00.003+12:00

I rarely, rarely get angry..

Hmm.

All I have to say, is fucking mind where you're stepping, or I am going to seriously think about hunting you down and bashing you.

Not that you would read this, but maybe if there is a slim chance you do.

I have a Penis, hear me ROAR!

2009-07-03T00:47:00.005+12:00

This isn't the best post, I've just not really had the heart to do it properly, I think... I don't know. I know what I want to say, I just.... Don't do it right. Its still a post about what I wanted to say, kinda, so thats why you're reading this now. Just be aware that this isn't written well and isn't fully structured (subject) well.

I think it was this... Feeling that crept over me slowly this evening. I might explain it in another post, if I remember. I don't want to be a failure, I don't want to be alone, but in a way I think I'm heading to both of those.

So.... I should probably warn a little about the content in this post, not just a joke around as last post was though...

ROAR

Look! I have a penis. I am a man. Raaaaawr! Well... Of course you knew that, or I at least I hope you did. I don't think I am a manly man, but I don't think I'm a womanly man either.

It will seem weird for you that have read these blogs I have done, but I'm not really that much of an 'express my emotions' person. I guess you would have to ask Denny what I'm like in real life, because he's going to be the only one outta you guys that would know! So, does that make me manly?

I know I've been poked fun at for shaving my legs that one time, and geeez I'm sorry -_-

I can apparently according to Beth and Emma do a pretty good woman voice, but... I can go pretty deep too? I think, but our voices always sound so different to 'us' than they actually sound.

Every so often, my voice can break even at 18. There is a reason for this, that shall be explained later. It makes me insecure :S I know its happened a few times when I've voice clipped to Emma, which is because I'm just randomly talking going all out as normal. Its happened a few times around Denny-Poo. I know its never happened on vent much cause I don't just go full out 'burst' talking and if I do its to rage at Ear or Deo :P Well, once to each of them.

Wait... I'm going off the point.

I personally think I am manly enough, with a hint of woman to care. What do you guys think?

Bleh! This isn't what I was thinking of saying at all. Why, oh the fuck why do I always think of really good blogs and what to say when I'm either laying down in bed *just* snuggled down after turning everything off, or at work when I usually completely forget everything!?

----

Only Emma knows this, and I don't think she really remembers it or thinks about it (Cause... Why would she?)

When I was twelve years old I was a very active kid at school, we usually had some sort of game happening at lunch time.

One day we were playing football, well... Kinda playing it, mainly just messing about with the ball and kicking it around. Anyway, one time when we were being more serious I was dribbling the ball around being all pro and the such when this psychotic kid comes racing up and tries to kick the the ball away. He misses. He owns me between the legs with a massive leg swing.

(All guys are superbly cringing right now I can assume)

What happens when you take a grape and you crush it? Well... What happens when you have two grapes inside a plastic wrapper that you drop something heavy on? :S

My left testicle was crushed, well... Disfigured. I had surgery with in a week and it was removed.

I now just have a righty. Its OK though. I can still function as a 'man' and everything, if anything I'm still like 'regular' guys. Just... With one, larger than normal cause it has grown to compensate.

This is where my voice breaking explanation comes in. Like I said before, it doesn't really happen very often and I probably over notice it compared to what other people hear. But... I worry bout it :S

----

How do you have a shower?

When I see in movies and T.V. programs they always face the nozzle. Well, most of the time. I absolutely HATE facing it. I can't. My back gets cold. Water gets in my face, or my hair gets annoying if I face the water at my chest/neck.

I face away and have the water hitting my head and being able to go down my back and chest at the same time. Its specially cool when my hair catches lots of water and then it all comes down at once.

I never wash my face or body before I wash my hair, I think its silly to wash something you're going to get dirty shampoo soap on. But then... You can argue its hardly going to last very long to make you dirty. Bleh.

I can be a very big slob, lazy and messy, but somethings I just.... I hate my face being touched too much and I fuss over it. My nails, I usually make sure my nails are always clean and look nice, but recently I haven't been bothering with the look nice bit... They're too ragged now. I can completely avoid dirt all 'ICKY DIRT!' like and then other times I can have pen/mud on my arm all day and just be not bothered by it. I like to organise other peoples stuff all tidy like, but I absolutely loathe to do it to mine.

----

We reached 100 views the other day! Well.. Now 120. Four days ago it was at 80, whats happened that has increased my viewership by.... 33%? I think. SCREW YOU MATHS! Damn subject. First time I've had to use 'proper' maths in 3years. "Its always useful later on in life" BULLSHIT. And what I used was percentages none of this Pythagoras, Trigonometry or Geometry. Wasted 2 years learning that crap.

----

Well... That was 10? 15min wasted of your life and like... 4 hours of mine. Though to be honest it wasn't straight 4 hours. I was reading http://mylifeisaverage.com and some http://www.pvponline.com cathing up through the archives. I'm gonna share with you all soon, once I consolodate my collection, all the 'comics' I read. Though I hate to call them that, cause they're not really COMICS as in the most thought of form of them, as in Spiderman etc. I prefer to call them 'My Funnies'.

----

My ass is numb, cause of the way I've been sitting, avoiding squishing my cat and being relaxed. And since about 1pm yesterday my left butt cheek has been twitching constantly....

Force Fed...

2009-07-02T19:03:00.002+12:00

What the hell..

My mom is basically force feeding me.

She made creamy pumpkin soup, and said she was going to cook some steak too. So, I, knowing I wouldn't be able to eat both very well and also knowing I wouldn't like the soup very much, (made me wanna throw up, bleeeh creamy stuff like how it was... I can't stand it) said, that I would only have steak. She says I want you to eat more, yada, yada, yada. I thought she was going to listen too me, but nnnooooo. She fucking brings out some soup and gives it too me. I fucking complain that I didn't want any, but nnoooo. >_> And because I'm not rreeaallllyy one to waste I ate it.

But now I'm pretty full, and I feel sick, and GAH! Why the hell didn't she listen to me.

I might have another post later. I wanted to say some other stuff, and I know there aren't any rules, but... going to do 3 posts in one day seems kinda over the top. Who knows.

Everything

2009-07-01T19:20:00.010+12:00

WARNING!! WARNING!! ALERT! ALERT! THIS POST CONTAINS 100% CHANCE OF SPOILERS ABOUT MY LIFE AND THOUGHTS! AVERT EYES NOW!!!

Sorry Tar! I just couldn't resist!

I keep having tonnes of things to say, usually thinking about them at work or just after I've snuggled down to sleep but soon as I am in a position to write, I don't really feel up too it and I usually have forgotten what it was that I had been thinking about. So.. Heads up, this post shall contain a lot, or it might contain a little. It won't contain much of an order of things, just each random thing I happen to remember at the time followed by the next.

----

I hate most of New Zealand's drivers. I think I bitched about it once before but New Zealand has this, 'Give way to the right' rule, where basically the person on the right has right of way, mainly if turning.

This is very, very retarded in some situations.

*Remember to upload drawing*

(Its badly drawn but it helps my explanation)

Driver A is turning left up the street. Driver B is turning right up the street and Driver C and D will be continuing straight. Law states that Driver A must give way to Driver B, thus blocking Driver C and D. Yet, very often people do not bother to check behind them and Driver A can sit on the corner holding up traffic while Driver B sits there wondering what the fuck is going on (I'll explain in a sec). Or, Driver A will notice that there are cars NOT turning behind him and just turn left, not waiting for Driver B. But Driver B 'knows' the rule so can assume that Driver A is actually going to stop for him, resulting in... Crash maybe?

I dunno. Whenever I encounter a situation like this I have a good strong rant going in my head, but right now I just can't articulate it very well.

To explain the, 'Wondering what the fuck is going on' comment. I seriously believe that over half of the drivers on the roads do not know this 'give way to right' rule and when someone who does know it, and gives way to them (if there is no traffic) the givewayer is met by vacant stares. It also works the same when the right hand turner knows the rule and the left hand turner doesn't. I've met quite a few of these people, and its amazing there aren't more accidents.

----

I don't really listen to much 'new' music these days. While yes, there are some bands/artists that I like that are new, quite a lot is just shit.

It does kinda scare me that most of the bands/artists that I grew up listening too, and that have brought out new stuff are roughly in the forties but still sing about the same type of things :S

For Example:

The Offspring: Formed 1984. First Release: 1985 "The Offspring. Latest Release: June 2008. "Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace"

"Noodles" is 46.
"Dexter" is 48.
"Greg" is 48.
"Ron" is 38. (Although he left the band in 2003 I'm still adding him)

Now... Although I said "Bands I grew up with". I was only born in 1991, and I did only hear The Offspring for the first time in 1996/97 when my sister had the "Americana" CD. I'm still counting them, cause I do love them!

noFX: Formed: 1983. First Release: 1985 "noFX". Latest Release: April 2009 "Coaster".

"Fat Mike" is 42.
"Eric" is 43.
"Erik" is 43.
"Hefe" is 44.

THEY ARE COMING TO NZ, FUCK YES, FUCK YES, FUUUUCCCCKKK YESSSS!!!!!! :D :D :D

Pennywise: Formed: 1988. First Release: 1991 "Pennywise". Latest Release: 2008 "Reason to Believe".

"Fletcher" is 43.
"Randy" is 44. (Joined 96 after original Basset's suicide)
Uuuhh, the other two, I can't find birthdates though I haven't fully looked to be honest, but they would be similar.

OK, sure this is only 3 bands, and to be honest in the grand scheme of things they aren't really THAT old compared to some other artists out there. But its that they still basically sing like and about what they used to. I... I don't really remember my point of all this, but I think it was something like new music mostly sucks, there are too many 'free ride' people, 50cent/most rappers/Lady Gaga/Any people that have got famous from singing for Disney. That music isbecoming shit, shit, shit. Don't get me wrong, there ARE some GREAT new acts out there but there are also some very bad ones. Oh, and just cause I said 'most rappers' just before, I do quite like some of the ones these days,Nas/Lupe Fiasco but most of them are just complete SHIT. Though I LOOVE Classic hip-hop, its just so good.

I really don't know. Some old music is shit as well, and I have no idea how it became famous. There was on particular example I had, which I wrote down, but I seemed to have lost the paper :( All I know was it was like... 4words over and over badly sung to an OKish tune.

----

Some dates...

As of 2.00am July 2.

I have known: 2 Years, 9months, 7weeks and 6days.
There has been an engagement: 6months, 8weeks, 1days 2hours and 10 min.
An answer to an embarrassing question: 3months, 4days, 4hours and 0 min.
Official answer: 11weeks, 1days, 6hours and 26 min ago.
Alive: 16years, 6months, 3weeks, 15hours 50min. (Including 4 leap year days).
Mothered: 1year, 4weeks, 6days, 13hours, 25min.
Medicine: 1year, 4weeks, 2days, 23hours, 8min.

----

I could do so much more for my life. I really don't do very much, even though I know that if I want to have any chance of being with Emma, I need to get my ass into gear. My general day weekday, works out to be:
5am-8am, wake up and work.
8am-12pm, (Sometimes, 1pm/2pm/3pm depending when I shove her off to sleep) Talk to Emma on msn.
12pm, (Or those other times listed) Have a doze/If anything absolutely important do it then doze.
6pm/7pm, wake up and close the curtains, get stuff tidied up before parents come home.
7pm-2am/3am, I'm on the computer, most likely raiding, or later on (like 1amish) Talking to Emma.
2am/3am, go to sleep.

I really need to go looking for some extra work and money!
I... Well, I am a lazy person, when it comes to first starting off something, but I know that once I found a job, I would stick with it and do it well. Its just the finding it -_-
I've figured out that, if I haven't passed my semester course and get into the next semester, I'm just going to do correspondence, get my NCEA Level 3 and during this time full on work, so as to get to the UK sooner.
Hopefully... I would have the motivation.

I think if I did it this way I would also have a better start in the UK because of the whole job experience thing. Because who cares if you've learned 1 year of a BBS if you have no experience. Thats one thing I think kinda gets to me with education. Well... Mainly the education I can do or am interested in.

----

Happiness to different people, is different things. Happiness to me is doing all those things I listed earlier because, I have contact with so many different people (Mainly her) and it makes me happy and content.

If I ever lost my ability to talk to her as much as I do, I really don't think I would be a happy chappy.

You're probably all thinking to yourselves;
"What a silly little boy, investing all his happiness into one thing."

Well.. Maybe you are right, but also... Isn't it good to but 1000% sure that *THIS* is what make you happy and know its right rather than second guessing or only enjoying it a small amount?

I'd rather have the awesome happy times to the max now, and (oh god no if this happens :S) for it to fall through later on rather than protecting myself now, by not enjoying myself.

Hmm... This whole paragraph doesn't really make sense does it? My bad dawgs!

I guess... What I am trying to say is. Take that thing that makes you happy and hold on to it and enjoy it, because, even though its horrible to think about you may not experience the same happiness again, so while you got it, use it. No matter what it is, a person, a thing, a food, whatever. As long as you're happy, you're doing OK.

----

I have a big last thing to talk about, but its almost half two... But I'm afraid if I don't say it now, I won't get around too for a long time. Hopefully this rum and raisin chocolate will keep me going..

*om nom nom*

----

The internet is a great tool to meet people isn't it? I mean, sure there are also a lot of weirdo's and creepers on it, but... As a guy you don't really need to worry about them. Just... About being mistaken for one.

You probably could have called me a creeper back in the day, when I first discovered a social networking site thing. Not in a whole... "Mmhhmm, boobies, showie my" way but.. I dunno! I think a creeper way, going around, just talking to random people... OK... Mostly girls -_- Quite a few you lose contact with some, you still have contact with every blue moon and others... Stick with you, even though some horrible thing might have happened between you at one stage in time.

There's a weird thing about the internet, people can be so far away but through it they can seem so close. Thats to technology you can see someone fall a sleep on the other side of the world, while they can see you waking up. You can feel so close its hard to say goodbye.

----

I'm going to stop there... My "INTENSE THINKING" isn't articulated very well at GOOD times, and now isn't a very good time, silly sleepyness! But, I'll finish it, I'll explain it. No.. I probably won't. Who knows!

But... Just remember to have those you care about close to you, and you will be alright, even if those that you want close to you can't be (just yet).

Dedication....

FUCK

SNIFF

NEVER MIND THEN

SERIOUSLY

Transformers 2 Bitch.

2009-06-27T00:39:00.006+12:00

Be aware, that this is most likely to be full of spoilers!

First off. I knnnooowwww 'Its just a movie' and all that and I am approaching it like that, but it doesn't mean I'm not able to bitch!

Now!

There were a HELL a lotta irregularities and just general " omg... at least try a LITTLE to be realistic" moments. In the first one Optimus is pretty strong but even he alone isn't able to defeat Megatron. In this 2nd movie he just casually is able to fight off Starscream AND Megatron without much hassle (OK in the end of the fight he dies, but for like 10min he's perfectly fine)

In the first one, they pretty much TOTAL.... LA? I think it is. And yet in the 2nd movie (even with the HUGE FUCKING MASSIVE ROBOT RUNNING AROUND SHANGHAI the Transformers are able to be kept under wraps and NONE knows about them?! The only video that was able to be taken of the Shanghai incident was Cloverfield style. THIS IS FUCKING SHANGHAI. I know its not Downtown Tokyo but come on.... There has to be more people with epically awesome cameras there. Specially seeing as all the destruction that was caused. But also once again it doesn't excuse the LA massive robot fights that happened in the first movie either.

As soon as they introduced the family into the movie things went downhill.... Fucking hell! It was so bad, you can't have awesome shooting robots and then try make it slapstick comedy when you involve the humans. The human... sub plots were very unnecessary. Uuuggghhhh!! I won't really go into much detail but it wasn't needed really guys, learn to do movies without having to have a punchline and a pie in the face every other scene.

Like I said before, I know this is a movie, but the level of unrealistic things in the movie is stupid. There is this GIANT mother fucking robot smashing the HELL out of a pyramid throwing rocks and debris off it, but yet, half way up the pyramid literally 2meters from the HUGE flow of rocks is a human calling in a missile strike thing.

A guy gets tazered, but he just collapses and doesn't wriggle about as his nerves are shot to pieces and then, 30seconds later, he is perfectly OK.

There are three humans in a car, that is dropped from.... I dunno 2/3 stories high, without them wearing seat belts and its smashes through a roof and then gets cut in half. NOT A SINGLE CUT OR ANYTHING is sustained. In fact the only time anything happens to them is near the end when the main boy guy dies and he gets a little scar on his neck and his clothes are ripped and he has a slight limp. After being OWNED.

There are these two little robot guys who are attacking the BIG ARSED robot I mentioned earlier, but then.... They just completely vanish.

There is this other 'Prime' robot that is made to come back to life by an allspark fragment. Now. This guy when rezzed is old and has a CANE and is senile. I under stand the senility but the cane? When he decommissioned or whatever he was young, how the fuck did he age by normal aging and yet magically have a cane?

When Optimus dies, the other robots go to the human base with his corpse and are given this ultimatum by this jack ass guy. I don't want to explain it cause I really can't be arsed but if you watch it you will understand. Anyway they just go peacefully and let themselves be tied up and taken away??? YOU ARE MOTHER FUCKING GUN TROTTING ROBOTS WITH ACTUAL SOCIETAL STUFF and yet you bend to the will of some random and basically have no free will?

This leads me onto the main thing that pissed me off bout the movie. It was so goddamn Americanised! OK, I understand really, but it still gets too me.

The ONE and ONLY 'power' over the robot team, that can tell them what to do or where to go, and 'represents Earth" is the AMERICAN government and president without any other say so. FUCK OFF America, you don't control everything. I was going to have a larger rant but I'm tired.

I liked the old robot though when he was told that he was on Earth, and he was saying something like, "Why call it Earth? Boring. Might as well be Dirt"

Don't get me wrong, it was a cool movie, but there were these things that just killed it for me, mainly the human slapstick humour part. Felt longer than 2.5 hours too...

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!

2009-06-25T08:02:00.005+12:00

So.... GAAAAAH! One bastard won the full $36 Million, the batch, the Audi and the Porsche. ONE. ><>_> The lead was on the radio this morning in an interview stating how nice it would be for a 'donation' from the winner to help with a few things in the area. One thing was.... An artificial surfing place *facepalm* The other thing they wanted, which I can understand, is a $22mil sewer revamp but still, thats over HALF his winnings, that the council just 'would like'.

I hate people like that, who only clamour to you when you have something they need. (*cough* Jason *cough* :D See what I did there Denny?) But anyway, would they stick around when everything goes?

I like to think of these people as my real friends.

Denny
Emma
Beth
Emily
James O
James P
Jess
Veronica
Will
Alex Oh
Denis
Logan
Kenith
Andy
Skylee
Sammy
-Even though is weird I guess. Stuck between friends and acquaintances-
Tar (Megan)
Levy (Stephen)
Ear (Corey)
Morg

Acquaintances (Like... People I guess are friendly but not really FRIENDS.)

Alex K
Devon
Gavin
Keith
Matt
Jessica (Getting there)
Jura (Don't know your name buster!)
B.J.

I dunno I think thats it xP

So... If you're on the top list, you'd get something when I won :D

'Real' post... Later maybe. I just haven't been arsed to write much, even though I have tonnes to say.

I cried myself to sleep last night….

2009-06-18T00:59:00.006+12:00

…..With LAUGHTER! After two hours of awesome talking with an awesome person I couldn’t stop smiling! I blame her being able to see me. It was an awesome experience on the web cam with her, got to do my impression of her eating which promptly made me laugh so much when I was informed she had spat out her pasta! Makes you feel closer to the person I think.

I’m just going to write whatever this post. There is no link between any two stories, (not that I usually have any coordination between them) so… Each main paragraph is one separate story with sub paragraphs. I also realised that recently I’ve been writing stories FOR people (in a way) not how originally I was just writing. Lets see if I can get back to that ‘old’ style!

So I get home after going to pick up my Schlock Mercenary mail. I walk into the lounge and outside there is Purshea looking at me. Now it’s wet and windy so of course I let open the sliding door. She looks at me. DECIDES TO LICK HER ASS, with me standing there all cold and waiting. *Eventually* she came in. I love my cats too much >_>

Last post I talked about drinking. I want to talk about it again. But in a slightly different way. Hmm… >_> This *is* finally going to be controlling and all that. I don’t really know how to write it in a well structured paragraph. Who knows what to say? I really am not meaning it in a controlling way at all, just in a concerned way. This is what I mean when I say I worry about being too controlling and clingy to you Emma! OK! Perhaps I should actually say why? I’m concerned for you for your October booze trip. Not because of our joking Italian lover stuff. I know you’re smart enough to be careful and all that. And I don’t actually know what my problem is. I know of tonnes of more…. Eccentrically whorey, bitch girls who go out drinking every weekend get completely trashed and are perfectly OK. So why wouldn’t you be OK? I don’t know. I guess it’s because I do know of some real horror stories of people I know, even if only know them slightly.

I think it’s because of the distance? Like, if I was in the UK I wouldn’t worry really, because even though I wouldn’t go to Italy with her, if anything happened to her, I’d be closer, but being 11390miles away its very limited in what I can do. I really don’t think in real life I am a controlling and clingy it’s just distance. I still think I’m cute though! :D Just not as much as everyone says!

I watched CSI today, the proper real original CSI. It was the ‘Toe Tags’ episode. But anyway there was a background song that I really liked. So after it ended I did some research, after half an hour I’d found out what it was! With no information except that it was a CSI program I was able to use my awesomeness to figure it out! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vWRe5wCZnc

It was icy this morning even though it rained in the night. It wasn’t nice icy though so nothing good to take a picture of! The hose had been twisted last night and so this morning it was only a tiny trickle of water. Frozen in half >_> Took me like 10min to water down the car it was so slow!

I thought you guys might like to see this

The back of it reads…

No one at Finale has ever come down with swine flu – Protect yourself now

We change our shows more often that Paris Hilton changes boyfriends – 4 times a year.

Have your company mid-winter Christmas at Finale and make your cheapskate boss pay for your fun.

Our comedy shows are so funny that you’ll need to make sure grandma is wearing her Depends.

For reasons of national security it is best that drag queens remain employed at Finale.

Come to Finale and get a better work story. (Poking fun at the recent NZ Police ad campaign)

If Obama knew about us he’d want you to come.

Your homophobic friends are safe – drag queens aren’t blind

The front reads:

"No drag queens were made unemployed in the making of this flyer. All drag queens employed at Finale perform under humane conditions and are free to roam K'rd as nature intended."

You probably don’t know what K’road is, but Google it! It’s not as ‘good’ as it used to be though, but there still crazy people in it!

So I’m going to be trying really hard to move to the UK in Julyish of 2010. My original plan was to just do a working holiday or something, try bum off my sister slightly (pay rent or something of course) but now my plan is to do Uni in the UK. Well, 2^nd year Uni hopefully if I’m pasted my course from last semester. My sisters expressed some concerns as to how expensive it would be, which is true and she suggested that I finish my degree here in NZ first.

I don’t want too. :( I’m really impatient when it comes to this, which is a bad thing isn’t it? I want to see Emma really badly! I might just change my plan again and do the working holiday still, with the 1^st year the BBS (Bachelor of Business Studies) as experience, hopefully helping to find a job. It’s really not the best time to change country but… Like I said, I’m needy and impatient and want to be with my love!

Maybe I’ll find some more friends in the UK, and every week or so change houses and bum off them on the couch! If that makes sense? I’m sure my sister would get annoyed at me after a while, because I wouldn’t fully be pulling my own weight for a while as I try get sorted out, and Emma’s mom is hardly likely to appreciate the fact that her precious daughters weird stalker boyfriend is a semi-bum that might want to be a semi live in boyfriend xP Or something like that.

I defiantly am going to the UK next year, just depends how and for what, (apart from the obvious) just what other reasons there will be. I need to sort out a lot of money and proper plans. I have to find out some Uni’s in the Londonish area and if they would accept me carrying on my 2^nd year or even if they have a similar program that recognises NZ qualifications.

I recently sent Emma more presents/stuff. One was a $200 Swarovski bear and duck thing (as seen on her FB) a funny t-shirt we had been joking about me sending and how she said it would be creepy, but now she loves it! And a letter from Denny! We were talking earlier and I don't reeeaalllyy care but I started to think how weird her mom must think I am! Sure she knows how Emma feels bout me and how I feel bout her, but I was thinking. I know I made some slight jokes about it to her, but I was being serious too. I'd hate for her family to think of me as some creepy stalker weirdo bad influencing their daughter person! I like sending Emma things, I like sharing things and maybe I go slightly over board with what I've drawn/made/bought/etc for Emma but yeea >.<>

My parents aren't alcoholics. They're just binge drinkers.

2009-06-16T08:35:00.002+12:00

There have been about 5 weekend days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) this year, so 6+ months, that my parents haven't been trashed. Not including any holiday days. So, a minimum of 63 days. Wait... When I was having my doze I thought of a better things to say, now I can't. But basically, my parents are alcoholics, they don't drink constantly, its just when they do drink they can't control it. Can often start around 4pm, my mom nods off 9pm but my dad just keeps on going. Although thats not always the case. Once, I went off to work, and they were both still up drinking away. This is 5.30am. When they'd started around 6pm. >_>

I guess I understand it. They have the stresses from work and everything. I never remember them being this way in South Africa. OK, to be honest I was pretty young and probably wouldn't notice. But they had the other kids to make themselves happy and look after. I'm pretty much a disappointment to them. Like I've said previously I don't spend much time with them, I don't really act sonly. But its two way, isn't it? My dad tries to act fatherly when he's drunk, which is so very likely to make me act back? Comes swaggering up too my door all drunk and yeah, you guys know what drunk people do.

Anyway... They spend the evening making a mess of food and downstairs, which... I think is one reason I'm as skinny as I am. Drunk made food isn't very nice. Anyway... Yea. I thought I would discuss some of my crappy house hold with you people. Like I was saying before, its kinda understandable, with the business and all the stress that comes from it, just don't expect me to act happy-happy family I'm a good son, you're awesome parents.

I don’t drink. In fact the first time I had drunk in….2? years, was my 18^th and as you’ve all seen from the videos that went great! I hate people that drink just to get smashed I really do. Its not just my parents acting this way, although it has been a big factor, its just I’ve moved on from what I ‘used’ to be. Year 10, 14 years old was when it started, but didn’t fully evolve till year 11, 15years old. This was when the bad influence friends where, well friends. My first drinking experience I skulled back 9Cody’s – Bourbon and Cola (Yuuuuuck) – in 10min.

Gaah. I really haven’t been into writing this blog today. I’ve been very, very slowly adding bits to it over the past 16hours and this is all I have + some notes. I feel very lonely right now, only recently felt it in the past 30min or so, its 6pm right now, and I think its just from what I been thinking about things and people. I wish time would hurry up, or I would win lotto already. I want to be with her.

Ok… Lets keep on storyline here. Yes, I’ve done weed. No, I don’t do it anymore. No. It never affected me. I’m not just boasting. The arse holes who I used to be friends with tried to get me completely stones, gave me a huge amount, and yet it did nothing. I guess I’m just too permanently fucked up in the head already? I only did it about 3 times. It doesn’t really excuse doing it once, but yea. I dunno, it was just a bad crowd. ‘Luckily’ I guess we did end up having that crash that put Brendon in the hospital. It seems harsh, but he was a prick and deserved it.

Basically… We came round a bend, spun out, side smashed into a tree and guard railing, then, once the tree stopped us, we fell the 6feet off the side of the embankment thing. I ended up with class in my head, little in my hands and a nearly decapitated leg. Brendon ended up with a tree to the face and Aaron with the windshield in his hand. Oh should probably mention that I was in the back seat behind the passenger side. (Not that there is, but that’s the left side to any Americans/etc)

Brendon ended up in a coma for… 3weeks or so, I lost contact with the other guys, life got better. Which is harsh, isn’t it? But really it did. I wouldn’t say I was bullied by him. Its just I was, and still am, able to take lots of pain, and I’m a nice guy so all the CMA moves were worked out on me >_> Also, he’s just a dick full stop.

Who cares anymore. I’ve written this blog at all different time, the writing isn’t going to have much of a flow, I’m sorry. Right now, its just gone midnight, and I’m talking to Emma and her friend Tash. Or maybe just Tash. One does not know. Emma is probably with her boy toy!

I want to talk about nicknames. I don’t know why, but on the little ‘ideas’ sketch I have it. I first thought about including it on Saturday I think during my afternoon snooze. :D

Skylee

Scoops: I dunno why! I actually quite like it. Its different!

Denis

Denhouse: Denis was the first to call me Denhouse and its stuck ever since. It came about because of… Denholm – Denhome – Denhouse. I use it for basically everything these days :D

Emma

Catboy: Because ages ago we were talking and it was noticed I did quite like cats!

Cheese Ninja: Technically *I* came up with this.. I think. But it was to do with me being so cheesy to Emma too much!

Jess

Bunny: Because… What are bunny’s famously well.. famous for? Yuuup. We were like that. Kinda. I was the Bunny to her Kitty, who were going to have some weird looking kids!

Amy

Toasty: Because I was always so warm. She would often have her hands under my top stealing the warmth! I didn’t really mind. After the initial shock of the cold they weren’t that bad.

That’s…. All the names I can really think of. Though. It does bring up one little subject. Amy. Perhaps I should delve more into this story chapter of my life, like I did with Jess?

Amy was a British girl from… Somewhere. I think Nottingham? Or some place that started with N. Maybe. Anyway, she was going out with one guy who was semi friends with the people in our group and we sometimes just talked and other stuff.

Hmm… Don’t expect this being at all as descriptive as Jess’ cause I just didn’t feel the same about Amy as I did about Jess so just didn’t… I dunno.. Golden Memory the memories as much.

Hmm.. Its half twelve. I have a better thing to write to this blog than the story bout Amy to be honest. I’m probably letting you all down, expecting to hear all this gossip. I’m sorry. Lets sum this up. A week after the crash, I was a total complete jerk, dick, and very, very immature boy. I let go, of one thing in my life that had meant so much to me. I dumped Jess. I don’t really know why I did, well I did cause I wanted to go out with Amy, but didn’t want to cheat on Jess, but also… I had something so special and good with Jess, but I was immature and wanty, so I let go of her. The worst part of all this, is that I didn’t tell Jess about Amy. She… Found out when I accidentally sent a text to her, because I had been so damn used to ‘send message – j – send” that I sent the text that was meant for Amy. She was so shattered, and I felt completely terrible. I really did.

Jess and I were still friends, and we were still happy with each other, Amy and I were OK too. She was nice, and it was fun to be in a ‘real’ relationship for the first time. But then things got bad. Amy, was once damn low self esteemed person in the world. She hated Emma and Jess because of how special they were to me, and how I treated them, basically the same as her. This lead to the second thing I most regret in my life. Because of Amy, I stopped talking to Emma. I won’t go into the full details, but lets just say I was a bitch and I listened to Amy. It… Didn’t last though. About a week later Emma and I were talking again, secretly, which really shouldn’t have been the case, but it was. My mom was in the UK at the time and I was going to try get some flowers to Emma as a sorry, but I never did. I was lazy? I guess. But I had hurt Emma, so I should have.

I didn’t stop talking to Jess though, I refused too. Its like I should have refused for Emma. Well… In my defence I had been refusing for basically the full length of our relationship, 3 months, (Amy and I). But instead of telling the bitch to get fucked as usual, I caved. I’d had enough of being nagged, so I did what I did.

Amy and I were alright as partners but then I just started to lose the plot. Constant nagging, complaining and never being satisfied with me made me a bad BF. I started playing WoW slightly more than I had been, and we didn’t go ‘out’ as much as before and we kinda just stagnated, eventually culminating in the one weekend where she got freaky… with Brendon’s brother. She told me 2 days later and she told me all high and mightily. We broke up. Jess was there for me, cause even though I actually wasn’t really *that* emotionally involved with Amy at this point anymore, I did still feel sad and betrayed. If only I’d realised how good I had it.

When I say how good I had it, I mean, with her gone and Jess and I getting closer again. Unfortunatly.. Well. I really like being a dick >_> About a month later, Amy and I were back together. I had shattered Jess’ heart once more. I really don’t know why I got back together with her. I guess because she was ‘there’ and I dunno!

I think it was two months after this that Amy and I broke up again, this time fully for good. She ended up going out with Brendon. Why did I break up with Amy? Jess. That’s the reason. We’d become so close again, and I knew how much I loved her still, I knew that I’d never stopped loving her, and I knew that she’d kept on loving me. She’d asked me to break up with Amy earlier but.. I hadn’t. Once again I have no idea why, but eventually my think skull realised.

Being with Amy was an experience. I was a terrible, but also… Interesting experience, showing me many things, helping me to see more clearly. Unlike Amy, I won’t put all the blame on our failings onto her, as she had done (blaming me). Because yes… I could have been a better boy friend, and yes I could have not had much more deep feelings for another woman, but no… She didn’t have to be so damn controlling, self centered and be so low self esteemed.

Jess and I were back together, even though it had happened a while before, Emma and I were happy together and things were the way they were supposed to be. Good and happy and most importantly lovingly.

I never cheated on Jess. I’ve never cheated on anyone.

I never did anything sexual with Amy. I just couldn’t. I still loved Jess, and it didn’t seem right. Jess was, and still is the only woman I’ve ‘been with’ in anyway.

Lets… Take a break from soul searching for some more fun stuff!

Last week’s song was; The Stranger - Leonard Cohen – Songs Of Leonard Cohen – 1967 – Debut.

Which means I get 5points! And Beth said this was actually taking off >_>

___|_________________
Den|10

Beth|6
Emily|3
Emma|3

This week’s lyrical choice is…

I’d tell you all these things but I can’t speak because…. I’m dead, I’m dead, my life is life no more.

Don’t make me have to by myself something! They’re DREADFULLY easy to work out xP

I was watching Road Wars earlier. Often annoy Emma with the Reading sections of the program! :D

Today, there were a few stories from there, but the only one I bothered to write down was some huge day time fight at a pub called “Rising Sun”. Ever heard of it?

Writing it down, made me do some research! :P I went to the Waingels Wiki. (Hahaha I laugh so much at that word! I said it like.. Waane-Gals) Anyway! I did research! All the time I was cracking up even though it wasn’t really that funny! What’s your house colour? :D When I read about your rivals ‘The Bulmershe School’ I thought it said ‘The Bulimia School’ and I was all

“Wtf! Why are you’re biggest rivals an eating disorder school!?”

Is this that ‘bad children’ school you were telling me about a while ago?

Reading more about Reading and everything, I became excited! I can’t wait to come mooch off you and your parents :D Till your mom kicks me out! :( BUT! It did remind me of the plan I had thought up earlier when I was chasing you to sleep. Remember? When I was trying to make you believe I had a ticket for this coming week, to come visit? xP <3

Now for one last thing! Though it’s a big thing. Some more soul searching kinda stuff Thought I’d do a couple silly things in between the two hard core thinky, thinky subjects.

People do these things on Facebook, so I thought I would do one here. Its one of those anonymous. ‘This is how I feel about you’ thing, though I’m pretty sure its gonna be easy to spot who is who! This also includes people that may not necessarily read this blog, but I’m going to add them.

Lets start:

1 You’re so wacky its cool! We have a lot in common, but also enough not in common to keep things interesting. Its great you can be in the type of relationship you are in! Although… It does get a bit iffy at times when on msn all I get is 1 word replies!

2 WOW! We’ve become so close in such a short amount of time. Its weird, but its also really cool! I really do think you are basically my best friend. There’s nothing really I find wrong with you, but I do worry that at times you can find me annoying or hang around too much. I do hope we continue to be as good friends as we are for a long time to come.

3 When I first started talking to you I didn’t know what to expect. I just saw an interesting person with a like of colours. I’m glad I did talk to you first because you’ve become a good friend and even though sometimes we don’t seem to talk very much, its easy to just start up again. I do worry though that you think so low of yourself sometimes. Its not all the time you’re like this, which is good, just when you are I don’t really know what to say or do.

4 We’ve hardly talked recently! Which is a huge shame because we got on so well. Hopefully we can implement the plan of killing off your friend for her money and running away together! I feel bad that I’m actually going to probably not end up coming to see you, but there is always the future, hopefully! You always make me smile, and it was so good to have you be able to listen too me.

5 I haven’t seen you in so long. I care so much about you, but at times its hard to care when it seems you don’t care back, even though you say you do. I’ve always tried my best with everything for us but even that didn’t stop us drifting away to what we are right now. Which is what I don’t even know. Its unfair to others but I miss you so, so much.

6 You’ve had so much pain in your life. Sometimes I don’t know what to do for you, other times I’m scared at what you would do to yourself. Your emotions seem very confusing at times. If only we were so far away as we are. I think you need to find someone who can really make you happy and never let go of them no matter what. Remember to smile and be happy and know people care about you.

7 What to say about you that I don’t proclaim to you and others everyday! You make me so happy! Every moment with you is one I cherish and enjoy thoroughly even if at times not much happens. Ever day I know I feel more and more for you, and I feel closer too you too. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could hold you to me and be blissful. I could have used 6 words to sum up this paragraph, 3 if I wanted to be stingy, but I didn’t. Because there are more to those words than just those words. There is everything else that goes along with them, and anything else I want to make up to make you smile! You know who you are. So. I guess I won’t be spoiling guessing when I say you should let me hear you more.

8 What to say about you? Hmm. I get superbly along with you! Even though its only been a short time. Its always a laugh talking too you, but if there is one bad thing I have to say about you, is that you’re wrong about the voice sounding like a girls! I hope to be able to see you one day and prove you wrong!

9 You…. You have so much going on in your life. There are people so special to you, you want to give them everything, but you’re also very selfish. Quite often you don’t actually think about other people even though it seems that way sometimes. Maybe at times you actually do. You want everything to be able to happen, without going out there to make it happen although your recent plans have slightly changed this, the fruition is far off and you might lose sight. Please don’t. Think of those closest too you and think about what you’ve promised them Do not let them down.

I… Think that’s it for this post. Its been really, really procrastinated and I’m sorry! Well… Actually After the Amy bit I had been writing solid! Its not Quarter Too Two! *Exactly* when I told Denny I would post. Goodnight!

Poser Post!

2009-06-14T05:04:00.004+12:00

Todays post is going to be similar to last one. Bunch of thoughts!

Don't worry by the way, I haven't forgotten about the song competition. I've been thinking. Over 1 week, who ever gets the most points, gets a goodie and then the next week points are reset. Eventually when you've won.... 5? Goodies, I'll mail them off to you!

So far the points stack up like thus:

___|_________________
Beth|6
Den| 5
Emily|3
Emma|3

This weeks lyric is...

It's true that all the men you knew were dealers, who said they were through with dealing.
Every time you gave them shelter.

Its all very easy and simple I know. I quite like this singer, though some songs not so much!

To make it a full week of points each week, so its fair, I'll post one post with the lyric (if it ends up like today, when I will technically be missing a day. Starting this at 10.30pm but only likely to finish way later.)

Last post self comment I said something about dreams. So, the other night I went to sleep about 4am after forcing myself to stay awake so you lovely people could have a blog from me! And I got into bed, snuggled down, (made sure to set my alarm for 5.30am not 5.30pm as I sometimes do!) I layed on my back, which is very abnormal for me to do, and started to... kinda sleep. It was only like 2min after snuggling in. I had one of those 'real' awake dream things?

First... My bed was a roller coaster. I felt like falling and then going up a ramp and twists and roller coasterish things, but didn't 'see' anything or similar, just felt it in my body. I rolled over to the left, on my side and kinda on my stomach. I -swear- I felt a hand on my thigh of my right leg, but I was just weirdly tireded out to do anything bout it. Was creepy! But it stopped. It stopped when I started hearing music, like as if in the middle of a house party. I rolled over and checked the time and then everything was normal! Weird? :S

Before I continue... If you're going to read to the end of this post... Better not be.... 'Iffy'. And I apologise in advance. Blame Denny.

Anyway! More dream stuff. This bit isn't so much about the dream itself, its about what the dream made me realise. Basically what happened was I got owned in a car crash, and because of my thing with my parents and all that, none of my friends were really able to be informed. Denny came round after not hearing from me for a week and found out what happened, and he in turn was able to tell everyone and all that.

Now see... What this made me realise was that this situation is very, very true. The way I've.... Structured? Lived? My life is that quite often people have been kept separate from others. I don't intentionally set it out this way, it just happens. And yea. I think Denny is actually the only person that would be likely to be able to find out easily and actually tell people whats happened, which... Is weird seeing as I've only properly known him two months. I once gave Jess' info to my sister and told her to let Jess know if anything happened to me. I haven't done that for anyone else though. :S I asked Jess to do a similar thing for me, she said her mom would tell me. Which... I outrageously doubt, (that she told her mom that) I'm hated by her parents. I actually doubt they would even tell me anyway. Lets keep with the theme at hand here though. Sure I could tell my parents ways to contact all my internet buddies, but that would probably cost a tonne more explaining than I really want?

Like, with Emma. (Gotta use you as an example love, cause its easy!). My mom knows.... That she's in the UK and of course cause of recently how long I known her and... Thats really bout it? Haha.... Its not that I'm embarrassed (like Emma is! :; ) its just I don't say stuff to them, and I dunno.

I guess that last paragraph was just crap, so ignore it but I'm keeping it in, just in case! What I'm basically saying is... World.. Denny is the only way you're going to know if anything has happened too me and I'm sorry.

This is probably a good place to talk about one thing I find very.... I dunno. Sad? What is so completely wrong with me, that I can only find girl....friends on the internet?! Like... I mean lets list them.

Online I have met, (and become good friends with) Emma, Jess, Emily, Veronica, Beth, Samantha, Erin, Skylee, Julia, Jessica (Through Veronica), Chelsea and even though we haven't talked for 6months Lucy.

Now... In real life currently, (Technically excluding Jess and Lucy because even though I've met Jess and Lucy in real life and we got on well because Jess has been in Aus 2 years and haven't talked to Lucy for 6months, doesn't count as 'currently') Anyway... I know. Holly, Denny's housemate, but we aren't really FRIENDS! We say hi if I see her at the flat, maybe talk a little. There were two/three girls in Uni, but that was mainly just the same thing as Holly..

Am I just some weird internet perv stalker guy? I'm not really a 'scared of girls' type of guy its just I guess I don't go out of my way in real life to meet them and to be perfectly honest, don't really know how. Not that I really care, cause I got all my internet peeps which pre occupy enough of my time, its just... Its nice to be able and interact with people. Now... Not trying to make this seem like I'm a social outcast or anything even though it is sounding that way :S

I can be pretty over bearing in real life at times, ask Denny! So... I guess I really only make first contact this way because then they can start to like me and my weirdness, slowly, rather than all at once? Thats my way of trying to work it out.

I've told Beth that she kinda sounds like 'The crazy girl from skins' who I have remembered is called Cassie. Here is a link to one thing from her. Is it just me? Maybe I'm just weird. I couldn't find the clip of her saying “Amazing!” like you said it in the animal video, but... I didn't rrreeeaaallly look uber hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI4jj-vPkuA

Its been 2months and 1week since I got my tattoo. So far parents still haven't seen, although.... I think my mom might have seen the tip of it, near my hand twice (but not very well so thats why she hasn't said anything) and I've almost walked into their business ina t-shirt twice, and into the lounge with it showing once. But thats cause I was in a rush all three times. Pretty good if I say so myself :D

Now for the 'Iffy' part of the post and also the reason for the post title. Now... Even though my FB may seem it :S I am actually very far from a poser type person, I've just recently really liked documenting things/looks in my life.

Now with this little mini subject thing.... I'm not trying to show off or be sexy 'look at me girls' or anything, I just trying to illustrate? And also, Denny wanted me to put pictures on that were relevant to what was in the picture so I am. Here they are. (I'm not very gooood and photos and I look like crap and yea. This is really the guy's body you're in love with Emma! Not that.... it really matters 10000% I guess but I want you to have the best. Enough rambling >_> )

I skinny! But I have tonnes of skin. When I show it off, everyone always asks if I was fat as a younger child, and no I wasn't... I dunno why I have so much of it! Well.... Only when I stretch it. My plan and bet with Denny to gain 5kg before he comes back to Auckland has kinda failed....ish... I now need to gain 6KG, probably 7KG when I... If I weigh myself tomorrow! IF I wake up! But I slept all afternoon today so I don't see why not, even though it is 4.30 right now. Denny complains I eat so much, especially junk, and can still be 'slim'. Its cause I eat like... 1 meal a day proper. Maybe some 'real' snacks but I dunno AND he usually only see's me eating when I am actually eating. I don't really eat THAT much, it just happens that when he's around I am.

Don't I just look gorgeous? >_> I know you can click the pictures to get a big version.. but don't :S I look worse closer up!

YaaaaaY! The end of toni- This mornings post! I dunno if I really want it to be the end. For a number of reasons. It means you all see the pictures :S It means that the 20 other things I kinda want to discuss aren't going to be discussed, and might never be! It means that I have to say goodnight to Emma... Who I think I am frustrating. I blame my head. I feel really dizzy and lite headed... I need food, but there isn't really to have without waking people up. Or maybe I should. Its for the 'good of your health!' Hahaha, I remember watching that movie for English last year. Beautiful Creatures or something? With the Titanic lady in it. And based on a true story from ChristChurch. The ending is VIOLENT. Holy fuck. I feel like my heads going to explode...

NIGHT! ♥

OH! Just as I about to post this... I was going to reply to some of previous posts comments in this post so here goes.

Beth. Why do you like hearing bout how I feel for Emma? I think it is a little bad, cause it might become.. too needy? And no girl wants that type of guy. Now that you mention the ring of invisibilty it makes sense, cause I did try use it. AT THE TIME the competition wasn't taking off.

Emma. I !knew! You were going to read it! XP But its OK now, because I gave you permission yesterday, because I became impatient. I really hope you like what you get. <3

Emily. Hahaha whoa! Did you know that or search that? Your voice is fine! I wish you English ladies would stop fretting bout your voices and talk to me! It annoys me because 'gangster' maori westies use it. I know that basically means nothing to you, but I'm waaaay too outta it to explain right now.

OK!

NOW Its time to say goodnight!

Its goodnight from me, and its goodnight from him. GOODNIGHT!

Well.. I'm probably gonna be up for a while more, waiting too see some comments or talk to Emma or Denny hahaha. 5.10am post!

Oh my god I can't believe it. I've never been this far away from home.

2009-06-13T03:47:00.001+12:00

YaaaaY! Finally a post! I know its not that long a break since last post but its been long enough! Today's post.. Will be little stories really, no real order to them or anything. Not that, thats how I usually do it, but today its actually not meant to be in order at all. Too much to bitch about my darlings! Hmm.. I used to use that word a while ago with Jess and never used it anywhere else, but recently I've started using it again!

Lets quickly talk about this song competition... So far there has only been minimal interest in it :( I guess thats reasonable because there are only two of you that actually read this! Denny just wants to be the first comment and I think I've scared Emily away with being mean too many times :( But I'll keep going with it for the time being! So try get todays song!

Last song was...

Cool To Hate – The Offspring – Ixnay On The Hombre – 1997 – Fourth Album.

So I've just gained 5 points! Yaaay!

___|_________________
Den| 5
|
|

(Just found out that todays song... Actually has two options! :O But I'll accept either I guess. Extra point if you get the one I was referring too :D)

I want to bitch about people that say “ay”. As in...

“That movie was good, ay?”

(Not the Canadian 'Eh?') I hate it... It really gets on my nerves. Please, learn to fucking talk properly. I know I used to 'hey?' on the end of some words, I've recently stopped (like 3years ago) but 'ay' really really gets to me! Specially when used over the top! Its like my last bitch bout “You know?” when the person doesn't know. Yeeaa... I had a better bitch than this when I first thought about adding it to theblog, but that was the other day and now I've forgotten!

Driving to work the other day, I came up to one circle and its a 3way circle (as most are I guess). I wanted to turn left, but there were road works down it so I patiently wait. The road I was on, is a two lane one, and a taxi passes me as if it was going to turn down the right hand road, but instead goes around the circle... AND TRIES TO GET DOWN THE LEFT ROAD WITH THE ROADWORKS... Making him stop, directly in front of me, blocking traffic for anyone wanting to turn right. (Which a few people did and they had to drive half on the circle...) I should probably mention, that there were already 2cars down the left hand road. 10Min after arriving we were let through :)

At work... Gaah! I don't know how to explain this. There are... 5 of us official regulars + 1 random helper. One regular has taken time off for Uni exams and the other has broken her wrist, so we've had to get 3 helpers in. I've moved up to letter primary sort (which I used to do aaggeess ago) with a random helper with me. Leaving the two other random helpers to do the secondary sort. (While the other two regulars do their normal primary sort.) Now.... Lets bitch about the random helpers. The one guy who works with me doing what I'm doing, he's really nice and actually knows a bit about what he's supposed too do but.. he's so damn SLOW! I can do about.... 5 or 6 trays in the time it takes him to do 2. AND I pull out mail, go help some courier (because there none else too, cause they're helpers and don't know what boxes to do) and all he does in sort. Its not really that bad a thing I guess, cause at least he's doing the work but... yea! A tray holds about... 500? letters. I never really thought about it before but that amount would sound right.

Bob.... Bob is another random helper, a guy about.. 50? He really knows what to do as he's a regular at another Post Shop. The thing about Bob is... (And Bob is his real name) The thing about Bob is he is CONSTANTLY talking the dude just won't fucking shut up! AND when he talks he stops working, faces you and expects you to do the same thing. Sure its nice manners but when his stories last about 5-8min each thats just bloody ridiculous! Also he just talks about everything and anything, there is always something related to him that is related to one tiny thing that was send or thought about. Also.. He has a tendency to miss sort often and over work everything.

“Oh this name isn't the same as that on the box, do you know where it should go? I'll find out!”

NO BOB, FUCKING NO! Unless is specifically says “NOT SO AND SO” PUT THE GODDAMN LETTER IN THE GODDAMN BOX! Get on with your job! Also... there are sometimes these little letters that are technically sortpaid by 50c. BUT if you were to look at them you're most likely too say;

“Den? WTF, why would someone pay an EXTRA 50c for that?”

And we all do... Except Bob. No, no, no! Its,

“More than our jobs are worth to let that through! First its 50c today, $1 tomorrow, after a year its cost NZ Post heaps and its our fault”

LOOK AT THE DAMN LETTER and stop being a prick! >_> I know most of this won't make sense to you people out there that don't do this, but I felt like raaanting about it!

One thing that Bob did drivel on about is true though. Things being too P.C. Its stupid! His example, that is actually a good example is “Bullrush” or as I was brought up calling it “British Bulldogs”. In South Africa, we played that... 6-10 year olds, running from one side of a field to another, simple, to get a person on your 'side' (as the person on the middle) you had tackle and pin the person to the ground for 3sec. Which was all fun and awesome, sure we sometimes went over board (one guy I knew got a broken nose) but we were kids messing around and yea! When I got older, and came to NZ, it was called “Bullrush” where same principal, you run from one end to the other, yet.. To get the runners on your side, you could only touch them. WTF?! Where's the fun in that? But I still played it.

Now its not just that, its everything. As an advert for Bread in NZ pointed out (gives link)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ikpMNcSfGQ

Its everything, and its so damn true! What is with this “everyone is a winner” crap. No.. Not everyone is a winner. Kids have to damn well get used to it. If they grow up thinking this, they're gonna get owned in the real world. Life is just not like that. And, it does no good for their aspirations, because, why do your best when if you do bad you're still going to get praise and an award?

To some rather juicy stuff! That... has become the reason Emma is not allowed to read this for the next week! If she does... Well.. :( But I guess SHE'S ONLY SPOILED IT FOR HERSELF! I won't go fully into detail in case she does come snooping!

I wanted to get something nice for her, and I had been thinking it for a while. So when I went to my parents one day and saw that they were doing some more printing for Swarovski I had an idea. Went around with Denny the other day, and saw some stuff, so the next day I went by myself, with my pay cheque ($200) and got her something! :D

I just hope it doesn't get stolen from the package :S I was talking to my mom about it, and my concerns so we just listed it as an Ornament for 100$ hopefully deterring snoopers! Its a really, really awesome one I think. Won't detail it till she gets it, or I just won't detail it ever. Leave that to her? :) She's also getting a few other things too, which should be funny to hear about when she opens it!

I semi told her about this, which I thought was really,

“Awww!”

When I said it. My mom said to me... (Or along the same lines of...)

“You know who you're sending this too, right? Not just some random person?”

And you know how I replied?

“Yea! I know this person very well -smiles- I've actually known her 2 Years, 9months, 4weeks and 6days! Exactly!”

(because I know off by heart the date time thingy!)

She replied,

“Oh thats OK then!”

Now, just one last thing to say, I think. I was reminded of it while writing that past little story. Recently I became.... Weird. I don't know how to fully describe it. I have told Emma the feeling back when she was telling me bout Prom, but the other day I felt it again. Its a mix between jealousy? And sadness? Or something! Its not really jealousy because it does really take an awful lot to make me jealous.

I should probably tell a little of the back story perhaps? Basically, Emma is going to Italy in October for... 4? days or something with school, and thats all exciting! She started joking drinking lots and having her way with a different Italian every night and parties and the such. And yea... I just thought... About her out and having fun and a great time! (This isn't going to make sense this paragraph, just warning you now) I'm not trying to make it seem like I'm controlling or don't want her to go, cause thats totally the opposite as to what I think. Its just... I wish I could be there with her, having fun too. I guess this is where the jealous bit comes in? That I feel 'jealous' of the people that get to do that with her and be with her, while I'm stuck here.

I know I've told her about this before, but I might as well blog about it too! I think... A more understandable. I hate missing out on things in her life (even though lets be honest, if I was there, I wouldn't be going to Italy anyway but still) and yea! I keep writing this and it keeps sounding more and more obsessive :S Even though of what we've talked about it'(her and I) and how 'it wouldn't happen I think I'm also still scared of her experiencing more awesome stuff and not feeling the same bout me. Yeeaaa.

Alright! I was gonna end the blog here, but Beth just haaaaad to make me write about my 'Second Life' experience.... It was... Well, it was an experience! The controls are icky. I'm just waaaaay to used to WoW controls to easily convert to a new game. There were some scary people, that turned out to be really cool! Gave us some cool stuff and a few I really liked, a few were just 'wtf??'. I somehow managed to get a penis in my characters mouth! I don't really know what else to write about it! I... might go on it again one day, I don't know though! The funniest part I think was hearing Beth's voice! It sounds so so SO much like the crazy girl from skins! XP Not being mean, just saying! Sadly, Emily didn't talk much, cause he mic was weird or something. Which saddened me. I like talking to peoples!

Ok... Beth's probably gonna be disappointed in what I wrote about Sl, but sooorrrrryyyyy!

Byyye ♥

I hate a lot of things - I hate a lot of people that are lame.

2009-06-11T03:34:00.000+12:00

First off, WELCOME! To the new reader... Maybe? If you stick around!

You've come around and a great time! I've decided to introduce...

“Guess the titles song thingy” competition!

With real points and real prizes and real score boards! Just gotta think of prizes! This first one... Should hopefully be easy?

But lets get back to the story at hand here!

It was relatively warm this morning! Which was nice, because I had been feeling slightly ill the night before, but tonight its most likely going to be icey! Which is actually a good thing because I want to get my pictures taken! As soon as I thought,

“Hey! That looks cool. Would make a great picture!”

It rained and was wet for the entire week.... BUT! Its drying out tonight I think, slightly colder. I just hope the same conditions that made the icey mountains on my spoiler happen again... If its icey... If it stays cold and dry.. Lots of IFS! :S

Thats today though! Lets talk about yesterday! Seeing as its 1.45am!

Day started out casually enough, just work and came home, talked to Emma, talked to Beth, talked to Emily. Spread the funny stories that Emma told me to Beth about her video and yup! Mundane stuff really!

Denny came over around... 12ish to 'revise'. I've never revised in my life. Honest. Oh sure, there's been some 'revising' as in looking at the info, laughing at it and doing something else! Which is what I did when Denny came round. Well. No. I lie. I didn't even do that, I just talked to Emma and then tried to find a video for her! I couldn't :(

This isn't the point of me talking bout revising habits though! Emma and all that possy have exams now. Really important ones. Hearing what she says and... Nosying at another blog of someone else, oh and of course today's exam. Why do people stress so much?? o.O I'm not trying to say what they're doing is wrong and that these aren't important. Just.... Why stress so much? I went into my exam today, worth 50% no revision, study, missed most of the lectures (because they were SHIT anyway). OK sure, I didn't read the instructions properly... Doing 6 out of the 7 questions, when I was supposed to only do 4. But that has nothing to do with revision. If I didn't learn it during the year, forcing myself to read, and over read and reread books and notes is just pointless!

Thats another thing! Notes.... I write stuff off the board/dictated too. But then, it goes in my bad and thats it. I'm never gonna read them again. My handwriting is always changing. The only things I've kept from my schooling, (written academically wise) has been my doodles. Thats it. The rest just goes in the recycling at the end of the year!

So... After the exam, Denny and I went too the mall. Mainly for me, cause I was looking for something. Which I FOUND! Hopefully I get paid enough tomorrow, so I can buy it and then send it! If not... I'll have to wait till the weekend :( But its gonna be awesome! Hopefully!

Dropped Denny at his house, hopped the fence, munched some munchies, checked e-mails, hopped back over and then Denny and I headed off to the airport!

On the way... there's some cool videos and pictures that I'll up load after work tomorrow :D PLEASE! Remind me! Denny made fun of me in one of them, but I was able to get back at him! xP

Pretty much thats it for the day :D I was aiming to come home and get this done before midnight... So then I would have kept to my blog a day that I keep moaning about. But it didn't work. Its 3.30am right now and yea! Only wrote that much? >_> I was distracted OK!!

There was something else I wanted to say... But I just can't think of it!

My face and hands have gone oily... I'm gonna look so ick when I wake up. I wish I had better skin! WHY DOES IT KEEP CHANGING!?

OH! Its not the thing but it is one thing! As you all read, I cut my own hair the other day. Emma says it makes me look younger! But everyone else I seen today, says it makes me look older! WHO IS RIGHT! Maybe... there different impressions from RL and pictures. Maybe it was my 'proper' shirt and my nice jacket... I have some pictures of me like this that Denny took, so WHEN YOU REMIND ME! I will post them on FB!

Time to sleep! Hopefully work won't be toooo bad in... 2hours time >_> BUT! Even though its weird to say, if its icy I won't mind xP

Ramblings... RAMBLINGS! Lamblings?

2009-06-10T11:59:00.000+12:00

Hmm... I think I'm still a day behind.

As promised, in the comment reply to Beth....

My eyes became fuzzy and I had a HUGE headache because Andy uses a fucking flashy emote thing on msn, and it hurts and I fucking RAGED at him. He says he doesnt know what it is.... But I'm sure he does. When he used it yesterday, I seriously went blind for 2 min... Then I raged at him..

“What emote? -

- Dude, I don't see anything?”

' - ' is what the shortcut thing is..

But lets talk about my legs! I'll post a pic on Facebook after I done with this blog!

It could be that I was just being waaaay to over confident or actually that I had previously used soap on my left leg.. But re-shaving my left leg... Holy FUCK! I cut my self a lot >_> Right now its all smoth and calmedish... Just you can see a few of the red spots! :( My right leg had a similar type of thing but NOwhere as bad as the left leg, so probably was the soap! Or... I'd lost my “I'm awesome at this attitude”?

And, I still missed spots... >_> I even put foam stuff so that I knew where I'd shaved and where I hadn't... IT. DIDN'T. WORK.

I just seached up some lyrics. “The Will Of One Lyrics” Is what I put in... I get 'The One – Rhiannah” and some U2 song... WHAT THE FUCK GOOGL?! Thats the 2^nd time.. Probably way more, but 2^nd time I've bothered counting you have stuffed up what I have written in the search. Seriously, GET FUCKED!

I think.... I've become very angry this morning. Emma kinda got a dose of it. I was raging at her via voice clips about some infomercials that were playing on TV. I won't write about them, cause the reason I was speaking my opinion, was I was too pissed to write and too much to write! Kinda... Maybe another time!

Lets also talk about that. About what? Talking of course!

I.... Once in a swing, I talk a lot about random things, or go off in tangets. (We're talking about verbal talking here!) Emily found this out the first time we skyped together! I think that was the first and only. But anyway... I think... My voice sounds weird recorded. It seems to go higher and all that. And.... When I do my “A's” like in 'Laugh'... I do its 'Laaaugh' which... when I play it back (after sending her voice clips) I cringe... It sounds.. So forced? But its me actually speaking!

Now... My voice going high at times. I'm mature, maturish... Boobies make me laugh.. So maybe not? But anyway. I know at times my voice breaks 'properly' but that... Is because of my 'condition'. On voice voice... Because its not as natural as talking normally I get higher more.. :( It upsets me.

I once had like a... 30-40 year old media studies teacher, whose voice cracked every so often. I don't wanna be that! I know.. I'm just over thinking this, and its probably not as noticable as I think it is.

I kinda screwed myself over recently.... I wanna talk talk to Emma more, but she's embarrassed bout her accent... So... I digently comment on Beth's recent video “Lol, british accents!” :(

I really like Emma's voice, and love to hear more of it! But she doesn't think its that great or whatnot, and now especially with recent comments... Uh-oh! XP I'll survive... I guess.. *theatrical faint*

I cut my own hair last night! It was coooool! I think. It looks Okish right now. I left the middle lightly more... Filled? So I can spike it up more or whatnot. Maybe a mowhawk.... I'm pretty good at it if I say so myself. Not toooo uneven, and yea! :) Though.. Morning after I still like it, but slightly not as much!

Ever just laughed out loud so loud you scared your cats away, and you just couldn't stop laughing for like 3min? Well.. That happened to me just before. Why?

“When I lose, you're the winner! You're miles ahead. My friend Laura's pet just trundles along next to me... But I still find myself almost shouting "Fuck off Denholm!" at the screen xP”

:D Isn't Pet Society awesome? YaaaY for beating Beth's silly monarch looking pet! I can't really talk much, cause Emaa used to always beat me! And I actually told her off for it!

I have Rachel Ray show in the background, and there is this thing about a gay only middle school? I think. And anyway, there is a lady who says,

“All my gay friends I have now... They knew at 3-4 that they were different because they played with dolls etc”

So... Nice fucking generlisation you fuck shit retard! I played with my sisters Barbies with her when I have 2-6 or so. Does that mean I'm gay? I have nothing against them, I'm just saying that people saying such general things are retarded.

Oh... Her comment was a reply to one lady saying segregating people like that at such a young age is wrong, because at that age, they don't always know whats going on. He point was very valid but then the generlisation bitch just ignored that and started talking about how they would have to deal with bullying, segregation and etc later on in life, so might as well start now? Or something, I wasn't really paying attention. Laughing too much at Emma.... Confusing videos!

I'll do another post tonight, before Midnight, so then I can have kept to my 1 post a day plan!

Time Is The Enemy

2009-06-09T03:00:00.001+12:00

Kiss me fast, 'cause theres no time to lose
Leave the light on, I'll come back for you
When everything is said and done, I swear I'm gonna make it right.

I almost missed todays post! :O Well... Technically I'll probably end up doing 2 in one day now, but it still counts as having done 1 a day :) Pretty good don't you guys think?

Denny is leaving me tomorrow. He's bored with Auckland, so during the holidays is heading down back to Christchurch to be with his friends! 5 weeks with out Denny-poo! :( I'm taking him to the airport on Wednesday!

Least I will have something to distract myself while he is gone! I am to gain 140grams a week, eventually converging into 5kg gained. Denny doesn't think I can do it but I will show him! I.. Just have to actually remember that I'm supposed to be doing it :S

This was brought on when we had gone to Uni quick to hand in my application for next semester. We were walking back and talking about weight and how 'small' my portion of lasagna from last night had been. I think it was average, he says it was tiny!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=B-=-=E-=-=T-=-=H-=-=S-=-=-=-=C-=-=O-=-=R-=-=N-=-=E-=-=R-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Its time I did another of these! Just some.. Funny WoW talk I think for today!

Character names. I don't know bout you but I like having 'proper' nice names not just some random ones. Also.. I tend to quite often get ideas for funny names! They... Probably won't sound as funny to you as they do for me, but who knows!

Undercity: I think its quite plainly obvious why I have this name! :D Have it saved on quite a few servers. Quite surprising that 'Orgimmar' and 'Undercity' weren't taken on Boulderfist, one of the oldest realms!

Thurbutt: Poking fun at an old guildy who had named his character 'Thurbum'.

Iporn: Now... While you might actually think its trying to make fun of anything to do with Apple, its not! When I xfered my shaman the first time, I named him Ipro. Because, Shaman just rock! I then xfered my BE Hunter. Named it Ifail, A. To keep in tune with Ipro and because, I mean... Its a BE hunter!

Vivvydrama: This is from when a German chick used to raid with us (on a U.S. Sever??) and there was a WHOOLE lot of drama.

Indridhealer: Indrid is a mage on Boulderfist who... Always came in the healers channel and everyone joked about him bandaging people, being a mage healer.

Mcfailalot: I mean come on!! Thats just a pro name :D

Beenhacked: Also pretty easy to understand from when I was hacked.

Macromachine: I'm VERY well known on Frostmourne (My new server if you've forgotten) for my macros for many different things!

Supercity: Super was originally my 'Undercity' on Frostmourne, but one time back in BC during a raid we were joking about names for me, and one lady said something similar too, “You should be Supercity cause you're so pro.” So... I logged out there and then, paid for a name change and 10min later I was Supercity... In the middle of a raid! >.<

There's a few more, but they're not really that funny!

I haven't been playing WoW much lately. Except for raids, just haven't had the time! Kinda... Been sleeping all afternoon! Hahaha, (Emma would so say 'Told you so' right now!)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=T-=-=-=-=H-=-=-=-=E-=-=-=-=-=-=-=E-=-=-=-=N-=-=-=-=D-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I searched 'Denhouse' and 'Denhous3' in Google...

http://www.tv.kredyt-na-dom.net/user/Denhous3.html SOMEONES BEEN STEALING MY YOUTUBE VIDEOS!! :O

It scares me :(

Though, Google is stupid. I search 'Denhouse' it gives me results 'Den House'... If I wanted a space, I would have maybe put a fucking space??

Talking bought Youtube....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7T7wsX5BH0&feature=related
YaaaaY! New songs from new Protomen CD :)

I can't wait till the actual CD is released! I also want to try find the original CD I just have a downloaded copy from my friend! Yes.. Yes.. Emily would tell me off here! (All you people do is tell me off! :P)

The Protomen are so so damn awesome! In my latest Youtube video that I have to upload, you can probably hear me singing too them! I know all the words :D Though... I might film again, cause I need a haircut and it wasn't the best filming!

I introduced you all to Fe minim Denholm last post, time to update!

According to Emma I can do a 'very good girl voice'. I don't really think so! The 1st time was the 'woman' voice from Monty Python, the 2nd and 3rd maybe, but I'm sure its not that girly!

Now... The thing I really want to know is.... How often do you peeps shave your legs?? Its been 2days and I can already feel stuff growing back! Its not like this on my arms or my face! Or... Maybe I just don't rub them that often!

If I did keep them shaven, I'll make sure to do them waaay properly and when I can actually see! I missed so many places and weird spots and they itch now!

So... I'm thinking... I might keep them shaven for a while. S They feel so cool and different and OMG!! Have you ever had a cat rub against them constantly? ORGASIM!!!

I have a plan! An awesome super plan :D She might already be suspicious, but I have nothing to hide, we already mentioned it a while ago, so when it happens, you can't be shocked and tell me off! I'm sure 'you' know I'm talking bout 'you'.

The title to this blog... Is mainly about how I almost missed it! But, there is another thing. I'll leave it till the next post cause Emma won't be happy with me staying up till 4am again! (Its only 3am right now though!) and also, I don't really know how to write it just yet. I will say, however. It has things to do with my huge post before, so Emily, you get juicy things to nosy bout! xP

If the shadow blocks out the sun!
There will be Light!
If it stays 'till the sun is set!
There will be Light!
If the sun never shows its face again!
There will be Light!
No matter how dark the city gets!
There will be Light!

Aftermath

2009-06-07T09:04:00.001+12:00

Lets start from the beginning.

I basically just went straight to bed after Beth did. Kinda strange I know, but she was cheering me up,(Not trying to be mean to you Emily!) but then she went! So selfish! Geee, going to 'sleep' cause you're 'tired' at midnight!

So I went to sleep. Which then lead to that picture I just put on Facebook being taken. I have no idea why he did, but now you can all be weirded out by me "What the fuck are you doing, 98% sleepy' face. Maybe even go as far as 99.99% sleepy face. I defiantly saw my dad through those narrow slits though!

I eventually woke up, dragged myself downstairs. Earlier my parents had gone to the glorious German Bakery and there were 2cheese sticks there! I only had 1 after microwaving it slightly. Its best fresh or at least a tad warm. So I ate that. First food in... 2 days? Well. I lie, I had some Milk Tart on Friday, shared it with Denny.

Now to the bit I told Emma about... The bit she would probably hit me for!

I needed a shower, so I went and had one of course! First off... About 3/4 into it, the water went cold, and I thought that my parents had come home and were using another tap so I didn't really bother to stop, thinking that the water would get warm again when they had stopped doing whatever they were doing. Ends up... They weren't home. I had just used up all the hot water in the 45min I had been in there so far.

But thats not what I'm writing this about! I was standing there, my psp playing my music. (I don't really like just quite showers sometimes, and my psp only plays music, cause I cracked the screen :[ ) Gaaah! Stupid tangent. I was standing there playing with my razor, after shaving my arms.... ITS BECAUSE OF THE TATTOO OK?! And why have 1 hairy arm and 1 non hairy so I shave both... Up to the shoulder. And I was playing with my razor and I thought...

"Hmm... I wonder.... Denny does it.."

(Denny does it cause he has shaped legs and isn't very hairy in the first place) Oh! Should say what I was thinking... I shaved my legs! I know.. I know... Jaw dropping, slap worthy! But really. I think every guy should do it one time in their life. Really shows you what girls do to try be pretty for us! I was... probably doing it totally the wrong way, but still its damn annoying! Specially near the back of the knee/top of calf area. So.. Thank you girls! :D

I missed a few tiny spots, but that I blame on inexperience and eyesight! I eventually perfected my technique on my right leg after pissing around on my left leg! Seeing as all the readership is female, probably silly to tell you what it feels like, but I shall anyway!

Whenever my cold jeans hit the leg its... weird! Like as if nothing is actually touching my skin! And its sssooo smooth! I actually like running my hands along it. It also shows you how much stuff the leg hair actually hides! Holy crap, I have way more scars and weird scar bruises than I thought! (Scar Bruises is the name I just made up for the bluey scars. Which.. I have a few of on my legs!) I don't know if I will keep it up though, if I had more sculpted legs maybe? Least its winter so I have sometime to think bout it!

Talking bout that though, I think I have sexy legs xP And like Emma pointed out Girls eye lashes, and sometimes a sexy ass. Maybe my... (stupid sleeping in science) (xy) was very very almost an (xx)! :O

I went out to hang out with a friend.

I got home like... 2am or so. Had an e-mail waiting for me. It made me so happy, yet really sad at the same time.

Had two 'Chupa Chups' for dinner. Do you get them in the UK? (WoooW.. My whole reader base in there!) They're suckers! But these ones were 'special' flavours, strawberry and cream and then the other one pineapple, kiwifruit and passion fruit I think!

Thats bout it for now folks! :D I'm back, I'm happy! I've *still* kept to one blog a day! :D

Butterflies - Beating Heart - Sweaty Palms

2009-06-06T13:08:00.000+12:00

Saying a few words, or even not saying them can bring about certain changes in your body.

Maybe I'm just over reacting, over thinking, over analysing but the combination of a few said words, a few changed words and a few unsaid words have gotten me spinning.

I have no stomach and I have the shakes and my heart won't stop pounding away at a billion beats. I've completely stuffed things up... Haven't I? I know it was me. I'm sure. Who the fuck writes that stuff, even though they know their will be complications... I do. I do it often, never properly thinking of how things will happen. Does that mean I've now lost you?

I've almost died once, when a barrier railing smashed through the window in front of me, during that crash ages ago, and even then I didn't feel as shaken up, devastated as I do now.

I really don't know what the hell I'm writing. I'm fucking struggling to write, WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME SHAKE!

No, I know I haven't been over analysing.. I know. We're not going to be the same as what we used to be, are we?

Its completely raining, fits the mood. Don't you wish, you could take the metaphorical meaning everyone does with water and actually wash away bad things from having happened in your life.

I dunno when I'll blog next, I dunno when I'll be online next either. Just wanna get away from hurting anyone else...

I know its not been much to read, and badly written, well fuck you. Seriously, I really don't care, why the fuck should I. Its my blog thingy, its my thoughts, its MINE, I'll have it as weirdly disorganised as I want. Just cause you can write nicely chronological and all blog fancy.

I think... Should sum it up for you people.

Wrote things without thinking.

Made you unhappy.

Made what we had tainted? Stuffed up?

Now, will it ever be the same? I see, I read, I interpret,I'm scared. If you go...

2800 Words... There And Back Again.

2009-06-06T03:37:00.000+12:00

I was going to write this about... 18hours ago, but, well.... I talked to Emma, did some annoying of Beth, slept, sent Beth's stuff, hung with Denny, played WoW and now at 1am, decided,

“Hey! Why not start it now.”

Which.... Is what I'm going to do!

First off, what I mention in this post. Its not really supposed to mean anything, you can interpret it however you want too. I know Emily will like it because its all set out and organisedish and personal! You noser! XP And also... The thoughts I will present in it, are kinda old, just what I was thinking at the time all those days/weeks/months/years ago. Its going to be a lot of stuff that probably isn't really important, but I think without knowing that you can't fully understand? I dunno. This is why I try not to talk to too many people about it. So... Before I get into that lets talk about something completely random and 'boring' as Emily would perhaps say!

I've recently found out how to take really good close up pictures on my camera! :) I used to always think people just had skills and I was being really bad, but I've been shown there is actually a setting which makes it good! Hopefully it won't be too wet tonight and there will be ice again. I saw some really awesome ice formations on my spoiler and also this huge grass area near Uni! I've charged the batteries and everything. Should be also getting my 'Drive To Work' video done that I've been planning for so long! Its only going to be in 3min bits cause thats what my camera video does :(

That Business Essay I was going on about in the past, I actually got it done and handed in before 2pm like promised, but.... I found out I'd missed a very important aspect to it, which hopefully won't be too bad! Still... I'm worried a little... Kinda!

I'm... Kinda nosy. 'Kinda' because, for example, Emma told me she had a blog and if she hadn't given me the URL to it I wouldn't have gone looking for it, but now that she has, I will read it like... 4times a day! 'Kinda' because I can just ignore things bout a person but if I notice something I'm really persistent in trying to find out it. Which.. Emma has found out all too often, and gotten annoyed!

So... Enough stalling! The thing all you nosy people have been wanting to read about. Emily because... you want me to be interesting, Beth cause you want to know about the 'Jess Saga' and... Emma? Cause I dunno.. Might hurt you to be honest :(

Way, way back in 2006 I was introduced to the website 'Bebo' by a good friend. And me being me, I completely went overboard with it. I met someone call 'Becs' (Well, Rebecca) and we were pretty friendly. Ended up finding out she went to my school! (*excited gasps*?). About... 3weeks later we actually ended up meeting each other one Saturday afternoon at the local mall. This was brought on by her friend Jess. Jess had randomly started texting me on the Friday morning before this meeting. I had been talking to Jess heaps before realising that I'd basically used most of my credit!

I should probably explain that back then Vodafone had 'Free Weekend' going where you could text Friday midnight to Sunday midnight for free. So... We had to wait till Friday evening to talk again! Which we did. Saturday comes, I find out Becs in having a sleepover and Jess is all,

We're at the mall! You should come meet us!”

Which I do. So! I head off there, nervous at the meeting of peoples I'd never met before. Becs had brought 3 of her friends because of the sleep over at her house! I found out that one of the girls was 'Christian Girl' who were... kinda made fun of sometimes :( Which actually turned out to be Jess! Their group actually hung out just around the corner to us. Anyway! Becs and I walked around the mall just talking, while Jess came with us and the other two went off else where! So, eventually they had to go back to Becs so I went off back home too. While walking back I texted Jess asking her what Becs had thought of me, she said something along the lines of,

“She likes you”

So! I ended up later on, sending a text to Becs asking her out, which she said, 'Yes' to. Basically, thats the end of that weekend! During the following week I talked to Becs but only hung out with her at school once >_< I was so damn nervous! On the Friday, Becs sent me some Bebo mail, explaining how she felt, and broke up with me, which, was OK, lol. Cause I'm laid back remember!

Jess had been sick most of the week, so I told her she kinda blamed herself because she hadn't been there, to help act as a go between! Well... Anyway! Jess and I organised to hang out the Saturday and we did!

I was dropped off at 11am, and walked up to her house her garage was open and her mom was on the balcony, yelled out,

“Ooh you're Jessie's friend, the doors unlocked!”

So... Walking in the front door, I greeted by Jess, who I follow to her room, just around the corner to the front door stood there all awkward like, bout 2min later Jess says to go so we go! Haha.. It was pretty funny getting out of the house, but... I just can't explain it in text!

We ended up just hanging out in the park under the trees till like 5pm! Just talking and all that, it was really fun :) That area would later become our 'spot'. Well, 5pm rolls around, and we're both shocked at how late it was! I text my daddy to come pick me up and when he does she walks home!

The rest of the evening and Sunday we're basically texting non stop just chatting and having fun! Sunday night happens. At 10.45pm, Sunday, 15 October, 2006. I ask her out. Now... You readers need to understand something. She knew she would be moving to Aus at the end of the year and we both talked about it, decided to just go out anyway, not realising how involved we would really become. Before you ask, I know it was this exact time because I had gone out to the movies with some friends, and Jess and I were talking about the problems with her moving after it, on the ride home, and a program I sometimes watched at 10.30 had just started when I got home. Getting changed and into bed, then asking her out, I give myself some leyway time.

Now.... Even the start of our relationship didn't start out normal. We couldn't tell her friends, because... Well, seeing as girls see, Becs might think that Jess stole me from her? So we kept it pretty quiet there, and also, her dad is a fucking arse hat hardcore christian and wouldn't let his daughter go out with a non-christian, even though we're both South African :P So even at home we kept it hush hush.

Now, my random joining things up memory fails me! But I went round to her house after school one Wednesday (a lot of our things happened on Wednesdays!) with in 2-3weeks of us starting to go out and we just hung out and talked and all that, and I got a tour of the house! Found out she played WoW! (I'd just started... Kinda, and was pretty nub and was one of those 'holy cow! Sexy girls play this game!?' people!) But anyway, the reason for this, was the first time we hugged! God... I was so awkward! :$ First time I'd hugged non-family since.... 6years old!

Should probably mention, that even while we couldn't do anything at school, and only talk at night on msn, we still hung out every weekend at out 'spot' usually on Sundays after she's finished church, (midday) till 5-6pm :O

You all want to hear about the thing that completely changed our ralationship and screwed it over? Wednesday, 22 November, 2006, Roughly 3pm.... I was on exam leave, she had finished school early. I met up with her, and we came back to my house. Ended up having sex. My first and her first. Now, of course, I won't lie, it was awkward! Being first and all, but it was fun, and loverly and yea! There were better times but first time is still special! Before you think any wrong doing, it was legal! Though the age is 16, we were 15, because we were both under it, it was OK, so no pedoness, right?

You're probably wondering..

“Den? I thought you said it screwed your relationship over?”

Well, it did. A few weeks later, at the end of term, (Wednesday, 13 December, 2006, 7pm – Noticed the Wednesday thing? Why 7pm? Cause the news had just finished) I was at my sisters house, just chilling with her, and her husband, (she married in... 05?) Jess and I were just texting, figuring our what to do in the weekend, when I start getting calls from her. I didn't really wanna 'talk' with her, cause I was embarrassed by my sister being there. So I declined the call and sent a message saying I didn't wanna talk talk. Got back a message explaining... Jess had written down in her drawing pad thing that we'd had sex, and her mom found it, showed her shitty dad and yea. Basically she was banned from seeing me and all that. I was so sad.... I remember always reading over the messages again and again not believing it. She was only able to send a few, and then her phone was taken off her. It would be a while before I was able to talk to her again. At the time we had gone out 8weeks, 2days, 20hours and 50min. Oh.. And her dad belted her, which I only found out a month or so later, fuck I was so angry...

I was able to send a few Bebo mail between myself and her find out she was OK, and that we still loved each other. She was able to send the mail, because she was at her brothers, which I knew the general area of, so when she had to get off the computer I left my house and walked to the area, and just tried looking for her.... I missed her so much :( I later found out that she'd also left his house and gone home... So the 5hours I was searching was for nothing.

Eventually! I was able to actually see her though, in January though. Quite a while after the incident :S She'd text me on New Years cause her parents had left to Perth for a holiday... Scouting their new life. So... one day I was able to walk the 1.2hours to where her cousin lived and I saw her. This was when I found out bout the belt and all that >_> But I had seen her! :) It was a tough 2months till school started again, but we were able to manage.

We were determined to be together, with her departure from NZ lurking ever closer we hung out when we could, which wasn't much (cause had to be waaaay sneaky!) We were able to actually hand out at school too which was good :) I ditched school a lot when she was sick, so that I could see her. We fought...

Around June sometime. A Sunday. 2007. The last day, I was to ever see Jess in person. I went around to her cousins house, because thats where she was staying, her parents already left to Perth, to sort everything out. The best, and the worst few hours of my life. I wasn't able to go to the airport on the Monday she left. Maybe its a good thing? I probably would have chained her to myself if I had!

So... Began 4ish months of long distance relationship, before I threw it all away. I was wrongly convinced that there was better... I broke Jessie's heart at 3:45pm, Tuesday, 11 September, 2007. I then proceeded to go out with the HUGEST bitch in the world, but thats not who this story is about. Jess still remained close to me, still loving me still standing with me. At the time, I was too much of an insensitive prick to understand, but don't worry I've matured since then.

Now... I wasn't gonna talk bout her but its part of this, that you need to understand. Sunday 23 March 08, Amy (bitch) had a party at her house, I didn't go. She ended up cheating with me. Tuesday 25th she told me. We broke up then. Jess was understanding, and comforting and supporting and so wonderful, which... Now I feel so bad about, cause 24th April I went back out with Amy, after she kept begging me. We lasted again till July when I finally through realisation and pressure from Jess, (cause we'd gotten very close again, will explain in a sec) I dumped Amy. Which was a good thing cause she was about to cheat on me again. Thursday, 24 July, 2008, at 5pm, Jess and I were together again.

Now, lets explain Jess and I during that 2nd time with Amy. I hurt Jess so much, by going back out with Amy. We'd started getting really close again, and I just stuffed it up. Jess loved me, and still loved me even after all I had done. Showed me how lucky I really was. And thats the explanation for just before.

Jess and I were back together, we were happy. Heh... Didn't last. Kinda. Its hard to explain. We started out strong. And we... Kinda started to drift apart. She started to say I'd become too clingy, which I think had to do with me having my own computer so could be on when ever I wanted too. Hmm... This last paragraph isn't very well structured! Emily is gonna complain!

Realising how much of a jerk I had been and was, and how lucky I really was to have such a woman like Jess, I started being too 'freely' afraid I was to lose her, scared of many things. Such as... when I was with Amy... Jess almost got raped, it scared me so so much. And I kept worrying, and still do. I understand where she got clingy from, but... I don't think I really was that clingy. We're 4 hours difference, which... You might think,

“Four hours? Thats easy!”

But it made things a shit tonne harder. We didn't get to talk too much on MSN, she usually didn't have credit to text me back, cause I just didn't care and sent goodnight texts and all that often, even though... She used to have lots of texts too me. But then.... I stopped ever getting texts, stopped getting replies to my offline messages/e-mails etc. At times, we never talked for days on end, I think 8days once... She had always been afraid of being forgotten, but I started to feel like she'd forgotten me. We started having fights which was me just being a jerk, complaining how we hardly talked and how it hardly seemed like we were together and he getting sad and then ignoring me/going offline. I think my apologies just made the whole 'clingyness' worse. I honestly think she'd never return to NZ, has too good a life in Aus. Trying to organise meet up or anything similar, always met with resistance and yea. Also... there only 3 people she cares bout in NZ these days, and one of them, I got jealous of, cause she always left him comments and everything. Sure he's basically her best friend but... It gets too you.

Now... I don't want to seem like its all her fault, cause its been mine too, I just... Wanted to get this out there. Its been 2 years since I've seen her. I miss her...

I don't mean to hurt anyone with this...

Heh... Now you all know. Maybe another really personal story next time, thats sure to please Emily.

If you dozed off after the first few paragraphs its OK. I know I write shit.

Its just before 4am. I have work In just over an hour. Gaaah, the things I do in my life >_> Emma's not gonna be happy, me being all unhealthy sleep patterns.

Pretty sure I stuffed up a lot of spelling, but spell checker isn't working, or.. Maybe I actually wrote well!

Ice Ice Ice Baby...

2009-06-04T08:42:00.000+12:00

I know, I know... Our 'cold' compared to the... What, 3? Of you that might read this, is hardly anything, but fucking hell its annoying.

Specially when I go to work... >_> Whole car is COVERED in ice, and by the time I leave work its refrozen!

Which.... Brings me to a funny story. A while ago, my car door was so iced I struggled to open it! And then a few days later happened again. This morning... My door wouldn't open so I thought,

"Oh, its frozen shut again"

Yanking and yanking didn't work, I thought screw warming my engine while de-icing the car, just de-ice. Came back, the door... STILL WOULDN'T OPEN!

Well... Eventually I found out that yesterday I had left the car unlocked, so when I came out this morning, and pressed my bleeper (cause I have a bleeper car :D Which is the only type anyone should have!) but anyway, pressed the bleeper and ended up LOCKING the car when I thought I unlocked it. Which means.... I was trying to yank open my locked car door! >.<>
But anyway! Lets complain more about the cold! I always end up only my right hand being cold, I think its cause its the one that plays with stuff... i mean... Uses my mouse/Writes/furthest from heater etc. In case any of you three get the wrong idea

Anyway... Thats really the only thing I can properly complain about the cold, is my hands/fingers, cause otherwise I'm pretty warm! Even when waking up in the morning at 5 its warm :D Probably cause I've left my 5fin oil heater running for like 36hours in my room!

Though... One thing... My house is colder than Denny's even though I get more sun! I don't understand! :(

But yea! I'll also make this a general post not just complaining! Still not done essay.... Well, intro done! I hope the teacher accepts it. Not that she WOULDN'T just that she's not a very good communicated teacher, and she only came to uni for our lecture and might not head to the office to pick it up :S But, I have the 'study guide' on my side, saying I have some leeway with lateness :D Long as I hand it in today! I'll hand it in before 2, I promise!

What else? My left over Thai takeaways have been beeping at me for like... 40min. Well, the microwave is the one bleeping. I usually have Pataya Chicken, which is like a peanut sauced chicken stuff, which I used too always have but recently they've changed chefs and its still nice just not the same. I can't remember what I chose last night, but I chose the beef option. The others were chicken and pork :D

Well... Hopefully I'll keep this up! Third post in a row :D Might even do 2 today seeing as its early, tell you all about my gym experiences with Denny, haha, and my weak sauciness.

Hah! That reminds me, I'll tell you guys cause... Well, apart from Emma, I don't care what you think! (In a nice way totally!) Anyway, we have a bench press, and there was 40kg on it, 20 on each side. And I all jokingly jumped on it, well, under it and was gonna do it.... Daaaaamn I'm weak! I can lift it. Barely, but yea! Then Denny did, showed off, but even he had trouble. Then! About... 10min later a guy came in and did like 50! >.<>.<

Just wanna be able to be good looking for Emma when I come see's her :D Cause, I'm really not very good looking now :(
No, no... Not being all "boo-hoo me!" for compliments just being honest!

As a friend said the other day,

"It should be illegal to be this sunny yet so cold!"

Yesterday Continued!

2009-06-03T18:31:00.000+12:00

I had originally started this continuation of yesterday, to well, continue. You know talk bout myself and all that, but I don't think I shall anymore. Or, well, I will but just not about what I was going to talk about originally.

I was woken up around 5.20pm by my dad asking
"Do you know whats happened to your mother?"

"No, what?"

"Well, she's smashed her head open on the kitchen floor."

And yea, basically, I had taken a nap just after 4.30pm and in the time, my mom had hit her head on a cupboard and collapsed to the ground with a huge head wound. It must have been for a pretty long time, cause even though it was huge and quite thick, the pool of blood had dried a lot.

So anyway, lets get back to meeee. Yup, me, me, me, its all I think about, kinda.

Lets talk about how I feel. I feel.... Nothing. I'm not trying to make that sound like I'm a jerk and uncaring, but I really don't feel anything, and I dunno why.

I mean.... I love my mom.... I think? I don't really know. So far in my life there have only been about two people I've truly 1000000% known I love and its a personal, lovey, they're specially close to my heart, I wish I could be with them love, and I don't know how to resize that to family love.

I've noticed I'm very unconcerned about most things. Such as when I left a friendish person onto my computer, who turned off the firewall >_> got a key logger on my computer and got my WoW account hacked, Jessie's account hacked and my friend James' account hacked. I was.... saddened I couldn't play WoW but overall, not phased. Same goes for Jess and James, I felt bad that *I* was the one who got their account hacked, but.... It didn't really bother me. Its like what Denny said,

"You're pretty calm and relaxed for someone who lost their WoW account, their friends and credit card details!"

And yea I am. Thinking about it now... I think its my up bringing. I'm not all,

"ITS MY PARENTS FAULT!"

I'm just saying. We moved here when I was just turning 10, parents went straight to running their business, sister moved to Uni housing I was usually home by myself till 6pm+ at night. Now I guess that doesn't seem too bad, but remember it was when I was 10-13 or so. I usually also stayed the weekend at a friends house so never fully bonded properly with parents. Even before leaving South Africa I had my siblings to do stuff with not so much my parents. Anyway, then business got more hectic they stayed out later, I also started to experience the joy of electronics and computer games, meaning even less time with them. I also grew older, so the typical teenager anti parents stuff happened. I may have another brother and two sisters, but I've been raised and treated as an only child. I never 'begged' for things but I did usually get what I wanted and treated very well. Also, I haven't really involved them in my schooling so I haven't fully been pushed in that region thus.... making my laxness with school work lately, well, Uni work for Emily who complained when I called it school!

So yea, there's a little bit about me, kinda. I'll talk more another day, maybe tomorrow... maybe, thats if I haven't done my essay >_> Fucking hell I really need to do that! :S Hope I'm still able to hand it in tomorrow... Well, it will be today in 4min (if I post this RIGHT now)

Actually.... You know what? Lets talk more about other things quick, maybe...

I was gonna write here more things and stuff but forget that I'll do it tomorrow, well today.

Just..... I love you more than anything :)

The Story So Far....

2009-06-02T22:54:00.000+12:00

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm back! Maybe.... I haven't done anything to the drafted blog I wrote aaagggeess ago, and I dunno if it fits on or not, we'll find out when I finally post this... If I post this!

I still remember all the things from months gone by when I was determined to write it then... (Just shows how bad my determination is..) But anyway. I'll say some nice new stuff and then try fit in the old stuff I was gonna say back way when.

So... Recently!

I'm watching the "Lie To Me" program, this blog is gonna take a while. Its seems like a pretty cool program! :) Oh look, and Top gear is on the other channel, so i can't even write during the ad breaks :P.

So anyway! Lets talk about 'Denny'. We weren't really friends at first, because I thought he was outta me league and I think he thought I was a bit of a prick, making Asian jokes and stuff. (Cause I silly like that, its when I made sexist jokes to Emma, which she told me off about earlier today, :( ) But now we've become really really good friends. For two weekends I've spent 3 nights in a row at his house >.< (Sat-Sun-Mon) cause I can and its fun. I have a key to his room and he has one to my car :P I guess thats kinda... Weird? But its fun. I woke him up this morning, it was funny, well I think so. I think alot, that probably isn't right. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=B-=-=E-=-=T-=-=H-=-=S-=-=-=-=C-=-=O-=-=R-=-=N-=-=E-=-=R-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I'm still tweaking the banner and all that, don't complain just yet! Anyway! I've.... Kinda forgotten what exactly I was gonna say here but lets try remember! Ight! Here goes. We'll just have back ground for this session shall we? I play WoW (as you know) or as I like to sometimes irregularly call it World Of WoWCraft (World of World of Warcraft Craft)

Isn't that cool! :) In my life I have had 2 Hunters, 2 Shaman and 1 Priest.

The Shaman was my first ever char back in Vanilla WoW, which I gave away :( Leveled to 60 The first Hunter got hacked. Leveled to 60 The Priest I inherited at level 30 from a friend when my Hunter got hacked. Leveled to 80 The 2nd Hunter and 2nd Shammy... I inherited the Hunter at 70 and the Shammy I leveled to 80. The Hunter I CBF leveling it! Right now I only play my Shaman on "Frostmourne" (Oceanic) in a raiding guild after making it my main (cause priest is boooring and I don't have full control of that account)

Originally all my characters were on "Boulderfist" (US) (and my hunter remains there). I leveled my Shaman's and my Priest as Resto/Holy cause it was fun that way. I was only shadow for the last 2months of BC and only recently played Ele for the first time since duel specs came out. And yea!

I've xfered them servers a few times depending on char. Was cool, but I'm staying where I am for now :) Unless its really hard for my to play when I move to UK. I'll write more, later on, maybe things that aren't just about WoW but yea! I dunno! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=T-=-=-=-=H-=-=-=-=E-=-=-=-=-=-=-=E-=-=-=-=N-=-=-=-=D-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

(Old Post Continues Here + New Additions)
(Mainly New Additions)

You know what I hate? Obnoxious people. I was at the German bakery last weekend, buying some bread stuff as you do at a bakery. Anyway there was a lady there buying some bread nit picking over everything being all obnoxious... and I can't remember what else! But it was a huge rant. (This is new post btw)

I also hate shitty drivers. I don't necessarily slower drivers just shit. The ones that travel at 50 in an 80 zone with wide open road and good conditions, the ones that don't signal when it actually matters (NZ has some pretty retarded signal rules. People that try park in retardedly small or badly angled, and people that can't park full stop, over the lines, in 2 parking spaces... GAH! They should be shot, and I mean that. >_>

Lets talk about me for a moment, I dunno why I would, or why you care, but its just something I was thinking about back in the day when I was first starting this post in my mind. I'm a pretty bad person. Gaaah! I can't be arsed to finish this tonight, but I will post it, maybe edit it or make a new post, who knows, but I'll do it tomorrow, well, today (cause its 1am) Still gotta do my damn essay >_>

Did you really want another?

2009-04-23T00:34:00.001+12:00

Hey look! A blog, finally. I think. Kept been trying to do it for a while. :S

SO.... Because I need more things to say, I shall be 'answering' some comments here. Cause, thats just the way I roll. And it makes me have more things to say and all that jazz!

I had quite a few cool ideas for things to say and the way to say these things at work this morning but now I have come to actually come to write, I dunno...

So! Comment replies things stuff? Sure, why not.. So, yea, my guild officers are pretty cool, and because I posted on the forums bout something they were just asking me one time the other day and my little story bout some shitty fucked up things was said. Though... On Monday? We were finishing H-Uludar and I was telling random story things, but they weren't really random, and I got told off for it! Well, not really told off, just 'Thanks for wasting 2min telling us that' joking type thing :D

Oh! Talking bout that, a thing I was thinking of at work, and I shall now have a 'Beth's Corner' where I say things she is most likely to only get. Yes, it does seem kinda strange and weird of me to have that but, eh, its my blog, screw you.
So! For the first installment of 'Beth's Corner' I shall be saying this. Uludar is fun but shitty... I've been having to have 150g+ repair bills for TWO characters for one nights work... And we have 4nights. Its cause they're making me use my Priest and Shammy healers for it, cause our new healers suck. Anyway! Uuuhh thats bout it for Beth's Corner.. OH! We got 2towers FL and 'A Quick Shave' on Razor. I dunno if you really care or know what I meab but whatever :P
For next time I might make a nice heading or something for your corner but who knows!

What else? Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut at an actual salon place. My mom naturally being a woman goes to one alot and has 'hair points' or something and I can get it free. I've only been to a salon like.... 5? times in my life. Once in the UK where I got blond highlights and was really expensive :S

Hmm... I'm cold, well.. My feet are cause my body is always warm, its cool and Purshea is sitting on my Snoopy blanket and I wouldn't want to kick her orr so I'll survive!

I really had a tonne more on my mind this morning, but now I just gone blank I think haha.

First Post

2009-04-20T13:11:00.000+12:00

Riiight. Emily wanted me to make one of these, even though telling her I'm not good at them didn't work.

First off, you're supposed to write about random crap, right? Well... Random crap for me right now is I spelt 'Eccentric' wrong and I dunno how to fix it. Even though.. I'm not so sure I really care.

More random crap you say? Going by what Emily-poo says on her blogs you just have to say things bout your life and what you're doing at the time? If not, go screw yourself cause if I can't be arsed to changed the spelling of the name of the blog, why should I be arsed to do what I didn't know in the first place.

So.. 'My life'. I dished out some personal details of my life yesterday morning in /g to a few of the officers. Emily would be the only one reading this so she won't understand, although if somehow Beth comes along and sees it she'll get the reference. I actually told them more than some of my real life friends know. Weird? I think so. My life is complicated and messed up. And I guess I could tell you it all, but I shan't.

My rooms still a complete mess from 3weeks ago when I tried to tidy it, and... I just can't do it >.< I have 3 things to send off to people that won TradeMe Actions, and they paid last week, I'd better get onto that :S

I have a bottle of coke next to me too. Swigging away at it. That and some Wors was my breakfast. And screw you if you think I'm unhealthy, cause I probably am, but I don't care. I exercise, and I weigh 55KG and I can binge all I want.

This shall probably be my only post as I am likely to forget about this blog, unless Emily reminds me. See that? I've mentioned her more times in one post than she has in her past 4!

The Excentric Life Of Denhouse

The future is fraught with planning!

To sum ME up right now...

I hate my computer.

Youtube FTW!

I need a new craft knife blade.

Fuck yea! Appreciated :D

Things that remind us.

There's a hole in me back...

And he bows to pressure.....

People really need to learn to drive.

'Our' Song

The which is upon the skin.

*Witty Title Inserted Here*

Owie ><

Whoop whoop!

Too lazy to shop!

Oh noes! A rushed start.

Explanation to all things evil.

A whooole lotta updates.

*Sigh*

Today I....

Three Years Later.

Michael Jackson killed the radio star.

A Little Love Story.

What the future brings.

Watch It.....

I have a Penis, hear me ROAR!

Force Fed...

Everything

Transformers 2 Bitch.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!

I cried myself to sleep last night….

My parents aren't alcoholics. They're just binge drinkers.

Poser Post!

Oh my god I can't believe it. I've never been this far away from home.

I hate a lot of things - I hate a lot of people that are lame.

Ramblings... RAMBLINGS! Lamblings?

Time Is The Enemy

Aftermath

Butterflies - Beating Heart - Sweaty Palms

2800 Words... There And Back Again.

Ice Ice Ice Baby...

Yesterday Continued!

The Story So Far....

Did you really want another?

First Post

Witty Title Inserted Here

Sigh